Something tells me if some of these people were standing in line looking for a job and not sitting outside of a mall waiting for some Chinese made sneakers with a multi-hundred millionaire’s name on them that their families would be considerably better off:

Louisville, Ky. (WDRB) – Witnesses say Louisville Metro Police had to break up a fight early today at Jefferson Mall over the release of a new style of sneakers.

Officers were on the scene where witnesses told WDRB that 75 to 100 people were reportedly in a fight over pairs of the new Air Jordan Eleven Retro Concords.

One witness claimed that a security guard was trampled by the crowd waiting for several shoe stores to open early. That claim could not be independently verified, as WDRB News was not allowed inside the mall.

At least eight police cars were on scene. Sources with the mall claim they were already there to provide security.

From the Keynesian / Krugmaniac  perspective, look at all of the jobs this melee helped to create or save.  The riot police called in to maintain order and make arrests (plus overtime!), the booking agents who would log them into the jail, the ambulance drivers who would pick up the wounded, the therapists who could counsel them,  the locksmith to prepare new fences for the stores and the janitors to clean up the blood.  And, of course, the welfare office who cut the checks that allowed these folks with such misplaced priorities to use their cash on hand for something this important to begin.

This riot is probably the greatest thing to happen to this particular strip mall since October 2008.

“I got the love for the ‘Js,’ you feel me?” said Brandon Betts, a customer who purchased the shoes. ”Look at the box! The box is cold!”

“Man it’s crazy in there: people getting run over and security guards getting trampled and stuff,” he added. “They almost tried to arrest us!”

Sources with the Mall deny that there was a fight and say no police report was made out.

Correction:  No jobs were created for booking agents logging anyone into a jail for these various felonies.  And from North Carolina:

PINEVILLE, NC (WBTV) – Dozens of police officers had to break up fights and restore order at a local mall while shoppers were waiting for an overnight sale of a popular tennis shoe.

WTF is it about tennis shoes?  They don’t make you jump any higher or run faster.  Michael Jordan retired from basketball almost a decade ago.  Now, this could just be the cracker in me talking, but are tennis shoes important enough to add another candle to the Kwanzaa menorah?

You’ve got Umoja, Kujichagulia, Ujima, Ujamaa, Nia, Kuumbaa, Imani and Air Jordans.  Air Jordans being the last candle.  The highest.  The culmination of all of your race-based collectivist couch-sweating labors.

In a related story, Eric “We’re Cowards On Race” Holder brought a federal lawsuit against South Carolina today for daring to ask voters to show some form of identification in order to vote:

The Justice Department on Friday entered the divisive national debate over new state voting laws, rejecting South Carolina’s measure requiring photo-identification at the polls as discriminatory against minority voters.The decision by Justice’s Civil Rights Division could heighten political tensions over the new laws, which critics say could depress turnout among minorities and others who helped elect President Obama in 2008.A dozen states this year passed laws requiring voters to present state-issued photo identification, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.

Just how is this related to a story about people rioting over Christmas tennis shoes?  Maybe because if showing some form of official ID to vote was such a hardship that all of these people standing in line to pay $200 for a pair of tennis shoes could, I dunno, take their Granny or Auntie to the DMV to get a $15 driver’s license.  The wait would be less too as well as not being out in the cold.

Voting with Their Feet:

Do Blacks care more about tennis shoes than their right to vote?

 In Tennessee, we have to show a government issued photo ID to buy 8 tablets of Sudafed and enter our names in a DEA Registry if we want to effectively combat allergy season.  Yet, somehow, exercising your right to vote – the ultimate franchise – shouldn’t require anything more than showing up at the poll of your choice several times a day and show nothing save the cartons of cigarettes and “walking around money” that Eric Holder gave your preacher.

Taking time away from his busy schedule of murdering border agents, funneling illegal arms to and money laundering for Mexican drug cartels, AG Holder had these comments earlier this month regarding those who have an entire year to figure out a way to get a Photo ID in between their hectic tennis shoe rioting schedule:

Holder expressed concern about the new laws in the Dec. 13 address, saying: “Are we willing to allow this era – our era – to be remembered as the age when our nation’s proud tradition of expanding the franchise ended?’’

At the same time, Holder vowed to not let politics affect his department’s review. “We’re doing this in a very fair, apolitical way,’’ he said in a recent interview with The Washington Post. “We don’t want anybody to think that there is a partisan component to anything we are doing.’’

Of course, not.  Politics plays no part whatsoever in  suing those racists in red states for affirming the identity of their voters and preventing fraud at the polls using the same standard as buying a six-pack of beer or cigarettes.

And if you believe that, I have some Black Panthers standing outside of a voting station  in Philadelphia to sell you.

For Jabba’s sake will you people leave this poor man alone?  He doesn’t want to run for President.  Or for fitness.  He doesn’t have any fire in his belly.  Or vegetables.

TRENTON— A top Republican said Wednesday that Gov. Chris Christie really is not running for president, even as political commentators began to use sexual imagery to discuss Christie flirting with the possibility.

That’s going to be a hard image to shake.

Lawrence E. Bathgate II of Lakewood, who has led fundraising for three presidents and a presidential nominee, said that after a series of high-level telephone calls, he is convinced that Christie is not headed into the GOP primaries for president.

“I heard him say that he wasn’t running last night. Everything I know, and everyone I’ve talked to — and it doesn’t get much closer than the people on the plane with him — say he’s not running,” Bathgate said in an interview.

Yes, it’s cheap taking shots at Christie.  To be fair, I’ll take cheap shots at Sarah Palin shortly.  But when he starts holding court about foreign policy – don’t start talking about exceptionalism and why we don’t have any but that you’re not going to do anything about it.  Are people on the right so hard up for a candidate that they’ve turned chubby chaser?

Same with Sarah Palin.  Go sell your books.  Go raise your kids.  Three and a half years of “I’m running / I’m not sure I’m running” blue balls are enough for me thank you very little.  Quit dry humping conservatives for attention.  My leg can’t take it anymore.

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about this:

Via the NY Post: AFP/Getty Images Phyllis Siegel (rear) and Connie Kopelov (front) celebrate after becoming the first same-sex couple to get married in New York City the day the state's gay marriage law went into effect.

The Big Apple said “I do” to a new era of gay rights this morning and celebrated New York City’s first same-sex weddings.

Chelsea residents Phyllis Siegel, 76, and Connie Kopelov, 84, got hitched at the marriage bureau on Worth Street in Lower Manhattan at 9:02 a.m., setting off wedding bells across Gotham.

City Council Speaker Christine Quinn, who is openly gay, witnessed the ceremony that was officiated by City Clerk Michael McSweeney.

‘‘It was just so amazing,’’ said Siegel, who has been with her love for 23 years. ‘‘It’s the only way I can describe it. I lost my breath and a few tears.’’

You’ve got to rove Arrec Bawrin.  Sure, it’s been several decades since Glengarry Glen Ross, but he’s still the closer.  Are you interested???  I know you are:

Which brings me to Anthony Weiner.

The Internet, as I understand it, is best for sharing information, ideas and even feelings. We send our thoughts and feelings, our very spirit, over the airwaves, with astounding velocity. At times, as human beings, we want to attach the body to the feelings, as well. Photos of ourselves and loved ones. Pets. The view out our window. The image of a child’s purity.

Barring any further revelations about the underage purity of the children Mr. Weiner of the Incalculable  Certitude, may or may not have spanked his Hebrew National to – that might have been Mr. Barrwin’s most unfortunate turn of phrase in this curiously unsolicited defense of the wanky Weiner.

Photos to find love. To find sex.

My thought on Weiner is that he is a very busy man.

…

For high functioning men like Weiner and other officials who have lived through such scandals, who are constantly on the go, that leaves one tried and true source of a reliable high. The affirmation that comes when someone lets you know they want to sleep with you. Or even cyber-sleep with you.

“High functioning” weiners, aside the running sexting joke is that no one ever knew if the person on the other end was a hot co-ed or a beefy bear with the keyboard of a slutty angel.

One busy gentlemen may feel a bit betrayed if he comes home from his busy day at work to find his missus jilling off to a tattooed, unemployed construction worker who’s milking the coconuts to his veiny palm tree on the other end of the Skype connection.  Much less half a dozen construction workers.

Who can say?  Working for Hillary Clinton might be a walk in the park.  A park fraught with flashers in trenchcoats.  Or the ever-gracious  frotteurs on the subway who, above all others, understand how pressed for time you are.

This is sex for many people now. No time for Mateus and cheap spaghetti. No time for slowly moving toward one another with a combination of hope and caution, lust and integrity. One can push a button and get something beyond porn. Porn is essentially two dimensional. One sees and hears. Internet sexting can be perceived as three dimensional by adding the component of “feel”, regardless of how cheap and unearned those feelings are. That person on the screen is doing whatever they’re doing… just for you.

Is this a defense or a confessional?

We tell ourselves that these devices help us communicate more effectively. What they actually do is allow us to bypass the person lying right next to us, across the room from us or at an airport heading home to us, in order to meet our immediate, even inconvenient, needs. To bypass their moods, their current view of us and their own desires, or lack thereof.

Weiner is a modern human being. So he ensnared himself in things that modern humans do. When I first heard about his problems, I snickered and made jokes, too. Now, I’m sad for him, his family, his district and his colleagues.

Let he who is without sin…

So only the atheists should be allowed to criticize Weiner by Barwin’s standard.  Preferably ones who aren’t so modern or busy.  Lazy Luddites who are fapping in the ways of our forefathers.

Through all of this, there is an unreasonable assumption that Weiner only played Hide The Salami with himself and throughout his engagement and marriage that he never indulged in an extra-marital affair.  He’s earned it, right?

Running a self-styled gauntlet of leftarded bimbos and pornstars stands he, Integritous Masturbatus.

An undeserved presumption of innocence for someone who played fast and loose with anyone on Twitter who paid him a compliment.

Damn you, sexy Internet.  I’m a married man!  And oh so busy.

The Jimmy Swaggart of Class War continues to make promises he’ll refuse to keep:

Disgraced politician John Edwards is said to be deeply depressed – to the point of being suicidal - over the prospect of a criminal trial that could end with him being jailed if found guilty.

The 57-year-old former Presidential candidate reportedly told a close friend: ‘I won’t go to jail. I’d kill myself first!’

According to the Wall Street Journal Mr Young has described the tape as like ‘watching a traffic pile-up occur in slow motion – repelling but also transfixing.’

How auto-erotic.

Liberals are universally too clever by half. Particularly those at Newsweak.

After being sold for a dollar to a Far Left California Congresswoman, they’re taking The Nashville City Paper route and insulting their readership in an attempt to gain advertisers.  Is that how Old Media papers used to work when they were successful?  This week’s cover story:

How Dumb Are We?

NEWSWEEK gave 1,000 Americans the U.S. Citizenship Test–38 percent failed. The country’s future is imperiled by our ignorance.

Like all liberal attempts to fingerpoint, there are four more fingers pointing back at themselves.

Exit question:  If people are so stupid, how is this not the teacher’s union fault?  They’re the ones who failed to educate them about US history after all.  Did they miss that class in between Gender Studies and Ecology?

Correction: This is all Charles Maldonado’s wife’s fault.

I do believe that your local recruiter’s station is still open if you want to support your President’s undeclared war on Libya.

I also hope that chiropractors are covered under the new Obamacare law given the twists and contortions of the antiwar Left, who never took advantage of a moment to STFU during Bush’s year long Rush To War ™ in Iraq, versus Obama “The Poet Warrior’s” week long, “cautious” unconstitutional intervention in a civil war that’s technically not our business at all.

What Fantasyland is this that we’re living in?

I just saw John Kerry and Carl Levin on Meet the Press saying that we’re doing all this, took our time to do it right with our Broad Coalition ™ or rather a Coalition of Broads and that at the end of the day we’re pretty cool with expending a lot of blood and treasure to leave Qaddafi in power.   This, for some reason, only makes sense if you’re a Liberal Democrat so may be our house commies can riddle me that one.

Funny that among all those consulted, Congress wasn’t. Congressman John Larson of Connecticut, head of the Democratic Caucus, says, “They consulted the Arab League. They consulted the United Nations. They did not consult the United States Congress,” one Democrat lawmaker said of the White House. “They’re creating wreckage, and they can’t obviate that by saying there are no boots on the ground. … There aren’t boots on the ground; there are Tomahawks in the air.”

Also, that in two closed to questions speeches that Obama has made the case for intervention so painfully clear that only an unAmerican dupe would deny him seeking justice for Libyan rebels of undetermined democratic commitment.  Even if you did support them it’s too little too late and if you leave Qaddafi in power without an occupation would you expect that he would not hunt them down afterwards?

This is beyond senseless and no high-minded journalists seem able to latch onto this headsnapping reversal of course from the people who opposed Iraq and Afghanistan for a decade.

Obama just asked US soldiers to risk their lives for nothing, in pursuit of a goal that is undefined if not ill-defined that puts their mission under the leadership and mandate of the worthless United Nations.

The same United Nations that is authorizing us to attack the chairman of their own Human Rights Council with such a narrowly defined scope as to be more of a threat to our own soldiers than to Libya’s.

God, I know I ask for too much as it is being that you have no real obligation to help me at all but please save our people from these professional morons and two-faced traitors.

In lieu of divine intervention, I will gladly accept MoveOn.org, Code Pink, International ANSWER and Women in Black anti-war rallies against this imperial President with added calls for his immediate impeachment.

Hilarity: Tubby Riefenstahl rips into Obama as if he was packaged in a Hostess Twinkie wrapper. Sacrelicious.

I guess he won’t be taking credit for all of the voters he steered towards Obama now, huh?  Success has a thousand Dreams of My Father but failure is a Kenyan orphan apparently.

In The Tank: Dukakis does his best Associated Press impersonation.

Poor Michael Dukakis.  Still trying to re-fight the electoral ass-kicking that muddied GHW Bush’s shiny wingtip.

Thanks to Salon’s War Room (see “The New Civility” – war – arghh!), it appears that Shortstack McRapeMyWife’s plan to launch the Dukakis/Mondale 2016 juggernaut continues apace. 23 years later and not one iota the wiser.

The Lee Atwater Boogie Man still lurks under his petite daybed.  He didn’t lose because he was cold to the question of how he would respond if his wife and daughter were raped.  He didn’t lose because he coddled rapists and murderers by sending them on weekend vacations.  No, it was those mean ole meanies who don’t fight fair.

Come for the asking Walter Mondale for good advice, stay for the comments where Obama is congratulated for being our first black Republican president who took a hard “right” once elected.  Cuckoo stuff.

Willie Horton is still available for comment.

They’re not called The State-Run Media for nothing.

At a joint presser with Felipe Calderon and President Davis, Jr., the Accomplice Press got their “one question”.  After applauding President Davis for his many words on Libya and a kinda, sorta answering his own question about imposing a useless “no-fly” zone, he finally gets to his well-thought out point – Hey, when are you going to intervene in that civil war between the NFL’s multimillionaire athletes and hundred millionaire owners?

Absolutely shameful.   Ben Feller of the AP should be fired before he gets back to the office.

At a time when Mexico is embroiled in an appallingly violent drug war that is leaving dozens dead, beheaded even, every single weekend.  At a time when gas is already over $4.00 a gallon.  Where governments in the Middle East are falling like dominoes or hanging on by gunning down innocents in the streets.  Where two US soldiers were assassinated by the Muslim offspring of the people Clinton “liberated” from civilization in Kosovo.  Where a Florida judge has ruled Obama’s landmark entitlement healthcare bill unconstitutional.  Where February 2011 had close to 400,000 people filed for unemployment benefits for the first time again two years into his Presidency.  When his Attorney General just stood before Congress yesterday and defended dismissing charges in a voter intimidation case because the defendants were the correct race.  When corrupt unions are assaulting taxpayers in the streets to preserve pensions that they don’t deserve and the country cannot  in any way, shape or form be able to afford.

Nah, use that one question to ask about pampered football players in the offseason.  Well played, sir.

Now wipe your chin off and ask for a towel.  The money’s on the nightstand as usual.

Ron Ramsey is officially too stupid to remain Lt. Governor of Tennessee. Quite a feat in and of itself.

How else to explain naming a Liberadio-ing, democrat voting, Daily Kossifying, Dave Weigel worshipping, never-miss-an-opportunity-to-cheap-shot-a-conservative House Donkey like Adolph Klanheider to be his Communications Director?

To paraphrase The Godfather:

Don Corleone: [kisses Michael] Listen, whoever comes to you with this Klainheider recommendation, he’s the traitor. Don’t forget that.

You’re going to live to regret putting the enemy in charge of your message, Boots.

Nathaniel Hawthorne surrenders:

And the Lord sayeth, “A vampire man shall don his shorty robe and layeth in the same coffin as another vampire man and it is ass-spankingly Good.”  After all, the 11th Commandment was “if it feels good do it”.

I don’t know why people ignored that one for so many centuries.  It was right there all along, people.

Most of you already know better, anyway, but here’s a reminder.

You heard that right. This elected official doesn’t know that Arizona shares a border with Mexico. I guarantee you, however, that she knows which snack machine houses her precious Chocodiles™.

So we’re being ruled by complete bedwetting morons. From the stammering nitwit-in-chief in the white house to this dim-O-crat “County Supervisor” in Wisconsin. Is it any wonder this country is spiraling down the crapper at NASCAR speeds?

This sign and others like it have been popping up on the highway near my house. It is related to the folks behind the Truther movie, Loose Change.

I just did a little research and I feel yucky giving this loose nut free play, but the sign at the end of my street did grab my attention. Anyone know anything else about “InfoWars”?

Added bonus!
Also captured on the camphone.

Say, anybody know the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?

Further proof that liberalism truly is a mental disorder.

You don’t have to be a complete idiot to support Obama, but it sure helps.

If by “violent, racist teabagger” you mean “Pakistani” and by “Wal-Mart” you mean “plane bound for Dubai“. Dubai, of course, has a long history of extremist, anti-government rhetoric dating all the way back to their Confederate days during The Civil War up until their staunch opposition to Obamacare.

Weasel Zippers is busting Chuckles McBagofSnacks for telling pony tales out of school:

Charles Johnson “Fairly Sure” the Tennesee State Flag is a Neo-Nazi Logo…

Mandy Messypants:  I saw it at a Vlaams Belaang rally.  Straight up Nazi.

Cunto The Incontinent: Amanda Geller flies it over her FEMA concentration camp.

Pillwhore Troutmouth:    Obviously, Irish nazi Celtic Wolves!

I’ve been trying to find some hidden meaning behind the California state flag but there’s just nothing to work with.

In Jim Jones, Jerry Brown, Red Dellums, Natasha Pelosivic and Senator* Barbara Boxer We Trust

/because of the triskeles!

Like the Masonic all-seeing Eye of Providence, our subliminal neo-nazism has embedded itself deeper than you can ever imagine:

Dumb ass.

Today Tennessee, Tomorrow the World!

The Science Is Settled! UPDATE: Little Green Frogboilers is 30% more vinegary than the leading douche.   You noticing that I’m getting my little, pink panties in a twist and going on a Nazi Witch-hunt  over a state flag while all my commenters smear away is really a sign of what a wingnut YOU are!    What a lying PoS.

In response to the Georgia Right-To-Life billboard above, another overeducated fool stumbles on the Holy Grail Fail:

Abortion rights advocates are disturbed. Spelman College professor Beverly Guy-Sheftall called the strategy a gimmick.

“To use racist arguments to try to bait black people to get them to be anti-abortion is just disgusting,” said Guy-Sheftall, who teaches women’s history and feminist thought at the historically black women’s college.

“These one-issue approaches that are not about saving the black family or black children, it’s just a big distraction,” she said. “Many black people don’t know who Margaret Sanger is and could care less.”

To use anti-racist arguments to bait black people into killing themselves is what’s disgusting in an evil genius kind of way.  You don’t know who Margaret Sanger is but I assure you that she’s looking up to you and smiling at this very moment for continuing her pioneering work in  “Weed” Eradication.

Fortunately for you, your mother was not as “educated” as you are.

Who doesn’t love an underdog?  Year in and year out for decades the lowly Aints have struggled to even make it to a playoff but now they’re in The Big Game.  Are we supposed to be surprised when they can’t act like they’ve been there before?

NEW ORLEANS – A student at a Maurepas school was sent home by the principal for refusing to take off an Indianapolis Colts jersey, according to a statement from the American Civil Liberties Union.

“(T)he Principal of Maurepas High School, which had declared that students could wear jerseys in support of the New Orleans Saints, punished a student for wearing a jersey in support of the Indianapolis Colts,” said ACLU Executive Director Margie Esman in an e-mail.

“The student, who had lived most of his life in Indianapolis and has an outstanding academic record, was called out of class and told that he was not allowed to wear that shirt. When he refused to change his shirt, the principal sent him home.”

We’re just talking about one out-of-control, tinpot fascist here – right?  A rogue principal whose school spirit borders on North Korean nationalism.  But then you delve into the comments section and see how far some people are willing to go to support his actions.  Running the gamut from calling for permanent expulsion of the student, to veiled personal threats of the student because “they know who he is”, to calling for arresting his parents with a few “whodats” peppered inbetween.   Rules are rules!

Maurepas High Valedictorian, Lootie: Just following the rules!

It’s easy to think some people are engaging in a bit of pre-Super Bowl hyperbole but since most Saints fans can’t spell “hyperbole” I dismissed that out of hand.  They’ve expelled one of the brighter students at their school for engaging in a harmless bit of free expression because he didn’t read the DRESS CODE.  This criticism coming from people who couldn’t watch a weather forecast for an entire week warning them to get out of the way of a CAT-5 hurricane the size of Germany.

Dumbasses don’t follow rules.

Rule #1:  Big Hurricane = Move.

But seriously, folks – Go Colts!

And if by some miracle of animal sacrifice and voodoo magic New Orleans is able to win then the police will need to be on standby.

To prevent Houston from being burned to the ground.

Artist’s Rendering: Ass not really that dark.

Projection ain’t just for movie theaters, folks. As Cranky pointed out the selective outrage that always seems to effect national Democrats, the revelations that Mark Halperin and John Heilemann’s book “Game Change” is threatening to unleash is bound to give us a sequel to America’s Historic Conversation On Race that we all need to have so much:

–In lobbying the late Sen. Edward Kennedy to endorse his wife, former President Clinton angered the liberal icon by belittling Obama. Telling a friend about the conversation, Kennedy recalled Clinton had said “a few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee,” the authors paraphrase.

At least he didn’t say anything about Obama being the half and half for his coffee. These arbiters of racial sensitivity. And at least he didn’t say anything about shining his shoes or then Chuckles McPonytail would be obligated to defend him.

It’s this type of black-on-black violence, the First Black President and the Second One, engaged in these rhetorical drive-bys by the Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X of our times that makes me worry about the future of our Idiocracy. A real tempest in a demitasse.

–Reid said Obama could fare well nationally as an African-American candidate because he was “light-skinned” and didn’t speak with a “Negro dialect unless he wanted to have one.” Saturday, the majority leader said he had used “poor choice of words” and called Obama to apologize; the White House issued a statement indicating that the president had forgiven Reid.

Now everybody’s making ado about the “light-skinned” and “Negro dialect” mentions but I don’t see anyone talking about the last part of it – the “unless he wanted to have one” comment. That’s the part that needs fleshing out. Why would such an erudite, by all appearances “clean” and well-scrubbed politician want to speak in some ghettofied dialect? Presumably, Reid is not referring to an African dialect but the one that Al Gore and Hillary Clinton usually devolve into – the Stepin Fetchit-ism from the pulpits of black churches.

That’s the explanation I want. When does Reid think that it is beneficial for Obama to get ghetto? Maybe when he’s going to shame someone on the other side for an innocuous remark?

Not to worry, folks. Not to worry. Once he knew the story was going to break (read: yesterday), Dingy Harry immediately called to apologize and kiss Obama’s light-skinned ass. All that’s left is for him to kiss it and for the media to ignore this story by tomorrow morning.

Nothing fosters racial conciliation more than a bigot and a race huckster coming together in the name of stealing all your money.

Thank God For Taxation Without Representation Update:  Attention, all you Washington, D.C. vacationers.  If you think you can seize on Harry Reid’s comments and find a friend in the black community then you better recognize:

D.C. Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton is warning Republicans against trying to make hay out of Harry Reid’s comments about Barack Obama’s skin color and lack of a “Negro dialect.”  The nonvoting member of Congress said Reid’s opponents “will not find a welcome mat in the black community” if they try to seize on his remarks.

Norton, a black woman who represents one of the most heavily African-American cities in the country, said Reid will enjoy support from the black community because he has “earned it with long support of civil rights and many other issues that matter most to African-Americans.”

So don’t wonder where the mat is if you end up in the D.C. area.  You won’t be able to find it. Some crazy woman stole it and is running around with it to protect a man who can appreciate the finer points of her negro dialect that she’s taking out on you.

He earned that right.

Did you hear the one about all U.S. oil companies being frozen out of the bidding on Iraqi oil reserves and them being awarded to Russia and China thus rewarding the accomplices who helped Saddam Hussein break every UN sanction placed on him while enslaving the country?

Those who claim that the U.S. invaded Iraq in 2003 to get control of the country’s giant oil reserves will be left scratching their heads by the results of last weekend’s auction of Iraqi oil contracts: Not a single U.S. company secured a deal in the auction of contracts that will shape the Iraqi oil industry for the next couple of decades. Two of the most lucrative of the multi-billion-dollar oil contracts went to two countries which bitterly opposed the U.S. invasion – Russia and China – while even Total Oil of France, which led the charge to deny international approval for the war at the U.N. Security Council in 2003, won a bigger stake than the Americans in the most recent auction.

How could this happen one might incredulously ask.  Why, why, why?  Look to the usual suspects and their actions from a year ago:

Why, after all the assistance we’ve given to Iraq over the past five years, was the first major Iraqi oil deal signed with China and not with an American or even a western company? The answer is, in part, because three Democratic senators intervened in Iraqi domestic politics earlier this year to prevent Iraq from signing short-term agreements with Exxon Mobil, Shell, Total, Chevron, and BP.

… Senators Chuck Schumer, John Kerry, and Claire McCaskill wrote a letter to Secretary of State Rice asking her “to persuade the GOI [Government of Iraq] to refrain from signing contracts with multinational oil companies until a hydrocarbon law is in effect in Iraq.” The Bush administration wisely refused to do so, but the resulting media hooraw in Iraq led to the cancellation of the contracts, and helps to explain why Iraq is doing oil deals instead with China.

Their release (available along with their letter to Secretary Rice at the New York Observer quoted Senator McCaskill as follows: “‘It’s bad enough that we have no-bid contracts being awarded for work in Iraq. It’s bad enough that the big oil companies continue to receive government handouts while they post record breaking profits. But now the most profitable companies in the universe–America’s biggest oil companies–stand to reap the rewards of this no-bid contract on top of it all,’ McCaskill said. ‘It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to connect these dots–big oil is running Washington and now they’re running Baghdad. There is no reason under the sun not to halt these agreements until we get revenue sharing in place,’ McCaskill said.

Yea, those multi-national American oil companies are running Baghdad aren’t they?  China, Russia and the French are getting the run of the Iraqi roost because Democrats preferred that the oil go to the people who undermined the effort to free their people every inch of the way rather than an American company to make a profit.  Remember that when they speak of “The perfect becoming the enemy of the good.”

Especially when it’s coming from the relentless enemies of the good.

If this healthcare bill were a sweet, innocent little cherub I would saw it’s head off and rub the stem-cell rich blood on my face with the zeal of your average Emily’s List supporter:

We developed this chart based on Nancy Pelosi’s new health care plan….The new chart shows more than 90 of these new mandates, commissions and agencies.   The true number is well over 100, we simply ran out of space.

In terms of sheer bureaucracy, if the IRS and Medicare had a baby, it would look like this. And the question is how is that going to make our health care more affordable?

Mmmm, dead baby bill.  The only thing better than killing it yourself is making the person who doesn’t believe you should be doing it in the first place pay for it.

Our nation’s unwanted, single parent $3.4 trillion dollar punishment for a one night stand back in November of last year.

Even the worthless Catholic bishops’ league is on board.  Don’t they realize how this is going to impact the altar boy harvest in a few years?  Thus, dwindling their already diminished supply of fresh molestables.

You guys just aren’t thinking this through.

I don’t know what Day By Day’s copyright standards are or I would have reposted it here but this pretty well sums it up.

When Barack Obama was first introduced to the now famous three-word call to arms that came to define his quest for the presidency — “Yes, we can!” — his initial response could be paraphrased as “No, I won’t!”.

According to a new book, when the slogan was first suggested to him he blanched, because he felt that the phrase was “corny” and “childish”.

Well, you do have to remember who your audience is and “childish” and “corny” are unarguably the better angels of their nature.  Assuming puerile and clichéd aren’t virtues.

Dream up a standoff-ish, three word statement that even a two-year old banging away at it’s high chair with a bowl of spaghetti on it’s head and demanding all the cookies in the jar can understand.

Yes, you did.

And yes, “blanched” is racist.

She is the perfect spokestwit for a generation of its-not-my-fault don’t-do-it-yourself kids.

Texting teen falls into manhole while – um – texting. Looks like we need a Manhole Cover Czar, Barry.

Note, super journalist Dave Carlin excuses the little dimwit right off the bat. If you’re watching where you’re going, it’s not an accident waiting to happen. But hey, I’m old fashioned that way.

Because of THEIR carelessness, she got hurt. Umhmmmmmmm.

Minor quibble there for the victim. Almost not relevant to the story, really.

Most elderly people and mothers pushing strollers actually have a lick of sense, Alexa. You, on the other hand, better cash in on this now, because when you’re waiting tables at a New Jersey gentleman’s club in your older years, you’ll need a nice nest egg to fall back on.

What a freaking embarrassment. A foreign reporter mind you has to ask this question because our stateside media can barely wipe their chins off and gurgle out a “call me later” before rushing out of the Oral Office.

Reporter:  What has the policy towards Iran and North Korea done except give them more time to advance their nuclear ambitions?

It’s funny you should ask that since no one else is bothering to.

Hrmmm….That’s a toughie.   Uh, uh, uh….

They’re doing stuff.  Not good stuff.  And we’ve talked with everybody about it.

Because talking to allies is good.  And diplomacy is always my first option.

But they have to meet us halfway and they’re not returning my calls.

Russia and China need to hold hands with us and say, “Hey, that was not a good thing you did.”

Sarkozy:  (In zee fronch)  WTF is this dumbass talking about?

Is it time for a new Projecte Quel Dommage? Because “We’re sorry, France!”  You finally listened to us and started crapping regular and 48 Million American voters, 3.5 million dead people, and 750,000 additional ACORN ballots sent Kofi Annan’s soul child to your bistros to insult your spankingly hot first lady, defile the memory of D-Day veterans and to go on a shopping spree while the country is swirling around a dirty bowl.

Watch the terrible answer given today to a question that should be at the forefront of every press conference when not discussing the economy that he’s ruining.  Somehow you just know Letterman won’t be rehashing his “Great Speeches In American History” shtick that he beat to death for eight years.

God, how I miss the flowing prose and elocution of the Bush Years and the concise, judicious reflections of Joe Biden.  He may have screwed up everything he was trying to say but right or wrong you never had any question about what he meant.

Simply dreadful.