Preston Taylor Holmes
Knoxville, TN

The Cranky Neocon
Philadelphia, PA

Brian McMurphy
Nashville, TN

Nigel
San Diego, CA

TinyElvis
The O.C., California

Yiddish Steel
San Diego, CA

Annika!
Parts Unknown, California



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Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category



Debate Open Thread (Update: Yes, Indeedy)

October 15th, 2008 at 4:57 pm by Brian

Due to the dangerous health risks and rise in emergency room visits from the “My Friends” Drinking Game, Metro Health and Human Services has asked that Six Meat Buffet not have another live presidential debate thread.

Concerned citizens or bullying bureaucrats?

More importantly, does anyone think McCain’s going to do anything but bring a Nerf rocket launcher to a South Side of Chicago gunfight?

I’m voting early this weekend based solely on the performance tonight and then I’m done with this mess.  If McCain stinks up the hall like a nursing home again then I am walking right into that voting booth and leaving the choice for President blank.  Republicans need to admit that they have a problem and it’s not that they are too conservative.

My friends on the Right side of the aisle, in the future you might want to nominate someone whose main accomplishment includes something other than knowing how to take a beating.  We’ll file that under “foreshadowing”.

I know.  I don’t see “The Big Picture”.  As if this cinematic nightmare has not been rolling across my screen for the past two years.  It took eight long years of watching the people I voted for, showing no desire to lead whatsoever, to get me to this point.   But I’m here now and I doubt I’m alone.

So….Debate Thread?

The Madcap Live Laughs after the jump.  Might as well jump. (more…)

The Week In Blogging

September 28th, 2008 at 9:42 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Well, really, there was none from me. Despite the debate (which B. Hussein Osama won if you work for NBC, MSNBC, Reuters or AP, or McCain won if you work for Drudge or Fox News), the economic meltdown and President Junior’s attempt to sell us down the river for 20 pieces of silver, and yet another pathetic performance on the gridiron from The Great Pumpkin’s Vols, I’ve been too busy to pay attention. Things should resume to normal half-assed blogging this week. It’s hard to stay in touch with current affairs when you’re living in Fantasyland™.

(more…)

Atheism Is The New Black

September 24th, 2008 at 7:30 am by Brian

QOTD:

I am not a party hack. Mike Kernell is my friend and I am standing by him. I KNOW he had nothing to do with this. Whatever his son did or didn’t do, Mike had nothing to do with any wrong doings.
As for your need to call me names, go join Six Meat Buffet, they do that there just to be cruel and evil. (And yes, G-dless–just ask them if they believe in G-d)
Terry is too classy to be cruel for the sake of being cruel to a fellow blogger.
But by all means, go join the chorus of G-dless haters at 6 Meat.

To my knowledge, Cranky is a Jew and Preston is a Christian.  Make that a chorus of one.

They told me when Bush was elected that civil rights would be rolled back for people who weren’t Christofascist godbotherers, and they were right!

Palin Campaign Theme Song

September 4th, 2008 at 8:29 pm by Johnny Walker Red

This one gets my vote.

Later,

Johnny Walker Red

Nigel and Cranky’s Excellent Adventure

July 29th, 2008 at 8:38 pm by Cranky

Nigel of This Goes to 11 graced us with his presence as he worked his way up the Eastern Seaboard. The evening consisted of dinner, lovely conversations and a screening of The Onion Movie. Though Nigel was unimpressed,
(with the film, and not dinner I hope) I think I broke two ribs from laughing.

Nigel is a real gentleman, a mensch and a guy I would let near my kids (if only for a minute).

More excitement here.

Is There a Shrink in The House?

June 23rd, 2008 at 2:23 pm by Cranky

Last night, I dreamed that I was standing in a snack bar line. I let the person behind me go ahead but he declined then John Denver who was behind him, runs up to the counter in front of me.

We exchanged some heated words and it ended in a shoving match.

John Denver? Hello? I think I need help.

I Get Memorial Day

May 26th, 2008 at 11:42 am by Cranky

This week I was Googling* for my childhood best friend. We went to elementary school together and, like many childhood relationships, we were only friends because we lived on the same street. We were completely different from each other.

His name was Warren Litherland.

He and I lost touch when his family moved to Washington state in the eighth grade. For the seven years before that, we were inseparable. I think I got my love for frogs going with him to the local “creek” and catching them under blocks of broken cement. We fought like cats and dogs with me being the cat most of the time.

I never had more respect for him than the time he was being bullied by some guy who had the benefit of having a large buddy. I looked away and when I looked back the bully was silently weeping while the beefy wingman just stood there. My friend just walked away with me and that was it. He had a confidence about him I admired.

He also was the first of us to ask a girl to the school dance. I begrudgingly admired him for that too.

We saw each other once or twice after he moved away.

In college a few years later, I got a letter out of the blue from an APO in Germany. He remembered my address and we exchanged a few letters. He was a private serving in the army there.

It was my turn to write when I lost his address. I was very flakey in those days.

Even more years later, I grew slightly less flakey and, thanks to the Internet, began to look for him. I found a picture of him at some sort of graduation ceremony with him sitting between two young soldiers. The picture labeled him Warren “Pops” Litherland. There he was; middle aged, obviously career military and apparently well-liked by his men.

Over the last few months, I had been having dreams about connecting with him again. So I made up my mind to find and reach out to him. I felt bad about having dropped the ball when we were corresponding and I would make it right.

The search engines paid off. I learned that Warren became the Rear Detachment Commander at Fort Hood as part of the 22nd Infantry.

I also discovered from my searches that he was deployed to Iraq and had eulogized more than a couple of his fallen comrades.

And finally, much to my dismay, I found this Newsweek article from 2006:

Ten-year-old Lea Gibbs was still awake in bed the night the Army chaplain and the casualty officer came by her father’s house. The men offered no gentle talk of sacrifice, no quiet prayers. All Lea heard as she came out of her bedroom was the screaming of her step-mom: “Your daddy’s dead! Your daddy’s dead!” Heidi Litherland, began seeking grief counseling for her daughter. “We don’t handle that, Ma’am,” Litherland says she was told when she contacted the base hospital at Fort Hood in Killeen, Texas. The hospital shuffled Litherland off to Army social services, but they didn’t handle counseling, either: instead, they told her to go to a base clinic to get an assessment of the girl’s emotional state. “Her dad just died! What kind of frickin’ assessment do you need?” Litherland fumed. She managed to get a list of local private counselors from an Army chaplain, but none could take Lea: their waiting lists were too long. It took five months before she finally saw someone.

A white pages search shows a Warren and Heidi Litherland near Ft. Hood TX. I’m not 100% certain this means he is dead, but I’m afraid to call.

I’m sure many Six Meat Buffet readers know someone much closer than I who has been touched by the Iraq war. For me, today, I know of someone who sacrificed himself serving our country. He will be remembered by me honorably and fondly.

As an aside, the Newsweek story ends well but it doesn’t stop parasites like Michael Moore from milking the memory of dead soldiers.

* Preston reminds me that Google’s anti-American antics make them unworthy of their own verb. Here “Googling” is used in the generic sense. My search engine of choice is Yahoo, but Yahooing sounds like a misdemeanor offense involving public indecency.

UPDATE:

My friend lives! I apparently read the Newsweek article wrong. It wasn’t him at all but was his step-child’s father. I apologize for the mistake but am thrilled to be back in touch with him. Thanks to an old friend of mine who is a real sleuth, he tracked him down.

Some Gave All

May 26th, 2008 at 9:08 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

On Memorial Day (and the rest of the year…), take the time to remember and pray for those who gave their lives so that jackballs like us can enjoy the freedom to live our lives as we so choose.

Photo borrowed from a very cool site called Footnote, which allows anyone and everyone to contribute their historical photos, stories, documents to what it calls “The World’s Archives”. Check it out, but be careful, it’s easy to lose some hours there before you even realize it. Their virtual Vietnam Memorial Wall is well worth your time.

UPDATE:

On a related note, Google is still run by bedwetting leftist twats who refuse to mark Memorial Day, even as they’ve created special logos for every other piece of calendarized fecal matter (earth day, etc). Remember, when you’re searching for stuff, use Yahoo instead.

Greetings from Geekfest in Florid-DUH

March 13th, 2008 at 9:53 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Yes, it’s the state where most people are too stupid to know the difference between Pat Buchanan and Al Gore. Let’s get started.

(more…)

I’m Conflicted

March 8th, 2008 at 10:05 am by Cranky

On one hand, I am happy to see my tween son has a fashion sense. Me, I let my mother dress me until my freshman year – in college.

For the kid, wearing the brand names make him feel popular, which no doubt contributes to his self-confidence. I see it working and think that it’s great.

On the other hand, paying $30 for a $15 dollar shirt to enrich a porn-envelope pushing company which, in turn, sends dollars to the same commie plant that makes the cheaper brand sets off every red flag in my collection.

Am I overthinking this?

Wednesday Paper Time Again

March 4th, 2008 at 6:54 pm by Cranky

Like clockwork, the Princess completed her Wednesday report for Dr. Professor Moonbat. Thought I’d share the highlights (with her permission, of course).

Today’s topic – Poverty in America (does the guy miss a cliche?).

Again, try to find out which lunacy is from my daughter and which comes from Public Education.

For our new reader(s), here’s some background.


1. Over 16.5% of native born Americans make over $50,000 per year. A lot of people in the U.S. are in poverty. Many Americans don’t make enough money to live on. It makes it harder if you have kids.

2. 53.5% of immigrants from Latin American are illegal. A lot of the immigrants from Mexico are also in poverty. The government may actually be hiding the number of people in poverty. They probably are. Why should any sane person believe the government? Hey, how about those chemtrails?

3. Thirty million people in America who have gone through the school system can’t reed (or spel). Fifty million people can read but cannot comprehend what they are reading. A lot of people in this country cannot read, which is bad.

Celebrities at the Zoo

March 2nd, 2008 at 4:42 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

It’s an absolutely beautiful day here in K-town. This meant that it was time for a trip to the zoo with the family.

We saw many fantastical creatures, but what I was not prepared for was a real-life celebrity sighting.

(more…)

Vignette From the Living Room To The War Room

February 27th, 2008 at 10:19 pm by Brian

Mrs. McMurphy:  Don’t these people have a life?

Me:  This is their life.

WTW: Six Meat Over Miami

February 20th, 2008 at 12:01 am by Brian

6MB Vice City

Apologies to the kids for being so scarce lately but bidness called. And when it’s below freezing in Nashville and the expense is authorized for “South Beach”, it’s time to inflate the tires on the double wide and haul my tightly-clenched sphincter down I-95.

To begin, let me say that if you can get passed the omnipresent unch-unch-unch-unch-unch-unch-unch-unch techno blare that is pumped like white noise through every street light, potted plant, patio umbrella, and cocktail napkin (at every conceivable hour of the day and night) that it’s really not that bad of a place to hang out for a week.

You must make peace with the beat . It was there before you and it will be there after you are gone.

It’s like going to Jamaica and realizing that you hate reggae music after you’ve been off the plane for two hours.

Unch-Unch-Unch-Unch

The beat is inescapable. The same one from the Girls Gone Wild videos. Best to make peace with it lest it destroy you and find your battered psyche left curled in the fetal position on a bed in the corner of the Delano hotel’s pool bar and getting charged a $300 bottle service.
(more…)

Life In The Past Lane

February 9th, 2008 at 1:11 pm by Brian

Surely make you lose your mind. Everywhere, all the time.

Does anyone else find it troubling that people at professional media outlets are tracking the IP addresses of people they disagree with in hopes that they can “out” them one day? Or worse, that some of them are collaborating with private sites to do it.

Nice try though, Detective Klanheider. Your amateur handwriting analysis-fu needs more wax-on, wax-off.

In the estimation of my bloggy Mr. Miyagi to your Ralph Macchio, the wax-off part I’m sure you’ve got down so stick with the wax-on tutorial. You miss 100% of the slander you never make.

They told me that when George W. Bush got in office that the voices of dissent would be hunted down and punished – and they were right!

To whoever is irritating the hell out of them, I applaud your efforts.

*clap, clap*

In related news, there’s gonna be a lotta slow singing and flower bringing when Ron Paul’s telephone stops ringing. Finally, Channel 2′s “paleo-con”/Paultard stooge can have the path cleared to vote for the true heir to Pat Buchanan…..that being one Barack Obama.

I’m So Proud – Part III

February 6th, 2008 at 2:07 pm by Cranky

When my daughter asked me about chemtrails because her Geography teacher discussed them in class, I just knew we were in for a fun semester.

Sure, he spends his time filling their heads with ozone depletion, de-forestation and other eco-horror stories, but this was the crossover into tinfoil territory.

It has been a terrific “teachable moment” in the ways to identify dangerous fringe thinking.

Also, the Princess noticed that teacher never actually reads the completed homework assignments. This has been great fun in her “Wednesday Paper” where she re-hashes the notes taken that week.

What follows is the ACTUAL paper she turned in today. I know I’m shamelessly plugging my progeny, but read it all.

See if you can identify which lunacy comes from my daughter and which from the teacher.

(more…)

None Of The Above

February 4th, 2008 at 10:43 pm by Brian

The prescience of Richard Pryor:

I Don’t Have One

None of the above.

To hell with these choices.  If John McCain, Mitt Romney, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama are the best choices this country can produce then we’ve got bigger problems than an election can fix.

There is another way.

It Came From Marketing

February 3rd, 2008 at 8:14 pm by Brian

I’m sorry Tom Petty but who programs the Super Bowl half-time? And why do they only seem to pick up a satellite signal stuck on 1989? My full moon fever broke around the time Nirvana came out.

Janet Jackson, Prince (though he owned last year), the Rolling Stones….jesus. Are they going to roll out Genesis or Whitesnake next year?

What’s left? Martha Quinn and Downtown Julie Brown doing play-by-play? Anyway, here I go again on my own.

In related news, Blue Moon bottled is better than the bottled version of Sam Adam’s White Ale.

However, in draught draft form the opposite is true.

********************************

And then Obama Christ puts on an ad saying he can “end the war and save the planet”. Smooth.

But before the grace of Obama go I. Obama be with you.

He can smile and melt the heart of Ahmadinejad. And convince China and India to curtail pollution. Or Robert Mugabe to stop destroying the farms. Or stop Venezuela, Brazil, Argentina, and Ecuador to stop drilling for oil. *sigh*

Operation: “Bad Breaker-upper” (an Open Letter to Fred Thompson)

January 27th, 2008 at 4:24 pm by Brian

Dear Fred,

It’s been almost a week since we’ve talked. It seems like just yesterday we were experiencing the ups and downs of that rollercoaster ride on the way to the Presidency. Eatin’ funnel cake. Getting sick on the Tilt-A-Whirl. Admiring the unbowing tenacity of your Prescription Strength Super Poli-Grip denture cream as you tried to eat that candied apple.

We punched the hippie so we’d both have enough tickets to get on the Gravitron but when we turned around – you were gone.

And now we’re getting The Silent Treatment. I thought we had something.
(more…)

I’m So Proud – II

January 21st, 2008 at 6:03 pm by Cranky

“Dad, I want to be a CIA ninja.”

This from my gun-toting princess.

Interestingly, a quick inspection of the CIA site shows no such position exists. This makes her all the more convinced that they have such a program.

From The Specific To The General

January 20th, 2008 at 11:30 am by Brian

After last night’s suffocating returns from Gamecocksucker Land, I was left wondering – is it me?

Have I gone so far to the right that a strong borders stalwart like John McCain, or a humble and pious man of the faith like Malachai Hucklesneeze are planting flags in Kossified Centralia?  I returned to the Political Compass to see if I could get my bearings straight:

Right Like Me

If McLame, Hucklesneeze, Mittens Big Love, and Transgiuliani are too far to the Left of a Renegade Centrist like me – just how many votes can they really pull from Democrats?

Given this baleful primary season, I don’t see any of the bridges burnt over the last few months being rebuilt before the general.  The only entertainment to come from the next six months will be the Bought & Paid For Semi-Pro Right Blogosphere making excuses for the records of the candidates placing the requisite ad dollars in their sidebars.

Whatever they do, don’t allow these glib Finger Whores to call themselves conservatives.

Action Bleg

January 3rd, 2008 at 2:43 pm by Cranky

Hey fiscial friends,

Please write to the White House and ask President Bush to enact the executive order which would curb earmark spending.

The details can be found here:

Conservative groups and bloggers are growing increasingly vocal about their desire for President Bush to issue an executive order canceling lawmakers’ earmarks in the omnibus spending bill. There is already widespread support for the idea among fiscal conservatives.

Call 202-456-1111 and politely explain why the President should issue the EO, or e-mail the staff at comments@whitehouse.gov.

Here’s mine. Think you can do better? Please do!

Dear President Bush:

I am writing to respectfully ask you to pass the executive order which would greatly curtail earmark funding. Fiscal conservatives have been very disappointed by our Republican Party’s wholesale abandonment of our principles.

Having the choice between big spending Republicans and big spending Democrats is very disheartening and likely will keep me and thousands of other voters home in 2008.

Please help bring responsibility back to our party by taking this bold step.

(sirloin tip, Captain’s Quarters)

Light Blogging Ahead

December 26th, 2007 at 12:04 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

As if time wasn’t tight enough, my folks brought us a Wii for Christmas. I may not make it to work tomorrow.

Christmas Wishes

December 21st, 2007 at 10:18 am by Cranky

Hey kids, things have been pretty quiet at the Buffet and most likely, over the entire ‘sphere. Traffic usually drops around the holidays when people take time off for work, travel or just generally get off the dang computer and spend time with family.

I hope my co-bloggers don’t mind me sending out the first Christmas post, but on behalf of the spiritually neurotic Jew, the athiest, the Methodist and the rest (whose spiritual states are unknown to me), Merry Christmas!

Now is the time to remember those things which are truly important. That’s right, a vote for Huckabee.

In the (other) Spirit of the Season, I’ll share my wife’s thoughts on spending time with the extended family this year; “maybe we can stop for a cocktail on the way over. You seem to do better that way.”

Ode to Modern Technology

December 17th, 2007 at 10:37 am by Cranky

Oh Modern Technology, how I love you.
Today, I can sit with my beloved wife in the family room
watching cooking shows.

Yet I am watching Babylon 5 on streaming media.

While I’m exiled to the front porch with my cigar,
you let me log into my office and find the missing
program that the Data Operations Group in Tulsa lost.

My friend in Israel, it seems like you’re next to me as we Skype away.

“Nerd”, those who just don’t understand scoff at me.

Yet, I enjoy life and time with the family. Do I truly wish to speak with the cheerleader moms while my daughter is in gymnastics class?

No. I’m earning side money while you jabber on about why your little ones should be captain next semester.

Hey look, a video from 1983! Thank you YouTube. Think I’ll download it and burn it to a DVD.

Damn! I’ve drawn a blank. What was that hottie that played opposite Mathew Broderick in The Freshman? Click, click, thank you IMDB.

Click click. I now have the formula for converting Farenheit to Celsius. Click click. Really? Farragut said, “damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead?”

Four sources for a research paper due Monday. Why I used to have to bicycle down to the library for that.

Was it only ten short years ago that the chirp of the modem handshake let me only check email as I wrote and sent resumes? You’ve grown so much.

You, Modern Technology are beautiful. Like those naughty pictures I can find on image searches.

I love you.

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