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Preston Taylor Holmes
Knoxville, TN

The Cranky Neocon
Philadelphia, PA

Brian McMurphy
Nashville, TN

Nigel
San Diego, CA

TinyElvis
The O.C., California

Yiddish Steel
San Diego, CA

Annika!
Parts Unknown, California



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Archive for the ‘Sunday Night Polls’ Category



I’ll Flip You. Flip You For Real.

February 1st, 2009 at 10:31 am by Brian

This post is brought to you by seat belts.  Those wonderful pieces of fabric that keep you from flying through the windshield as your vehicle uses you to soften it’s landing between rolling over several times and finally skidding on it’s roof across the interstate.

Thanks seat belts! I take back everything I ever said about you wrinkling my freshly pressed shirts.

Sunday Night Poll

August 27th, 2007 at 11:29 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Update: Of course, as Ginger did, feel free to submit your own petitions.

International House O’ Flapjacks

September 23rd, 2006 at 12:30 am by Smantix

Uh…yea. I’ll have an order of the runny eggs hanging on a rusty nail.

ewwww

Umm..with a side of flapjacks.

(Wonderbra snap to that sissy Drudge)

yummy
I still look young for my age though my bacon strip is a little worse for the wear.

Sunday Night Poll

August 20th, 2006 at 9:27 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

You pretend to love me, but what do you really love?

My limousine and the way its wheels roll.

My 7-inch leather heels and goin’ to all of the shows.

My credit cards and private planes.

Hotels, fancy clothes and the sound of electric guitars.

Rock ‘n’ Roll… the fame and the masquerade.

The concerts and studios.

All the money, honey, that I make.


  
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Sunday Night Poll

June 11th, 2006 at 10:50 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

In an interesting turn-of-events last week, news came out that the Duke Lacrosse rape accuser had quite a busy few days leading up to the night of the alleged incident. Among other things, she “had sex with at least four men and a sexual device” during that time. More…

DURHAM — The exotic dancer who has accused three Duke lacrosse players of gang-raping her was drinking while taking medication that night, and had sex with at least four men and a sexual device in the days immediately leading up to the off-campus party, according to court papers filed Thursday.

And despite what Durham police have contended, a medical examination showed no signs of the sort of sexual or physical attack of which the dancer complained, according to the motion filed by defense attorneys for Reade Seligmann.

Among other previously undisclosed details, the motion says the woman at one point accused her female dance partner of helping the lacrosse players rape her and of stealing her money.

And she told one medical staffer she drank at least 44 ounces of beer, and told another she took a powerful muscle relaxant and drank beer before going to the party at 610 N. Buchanan Blvd. on March 13.

Lawyers Kirk Osborn and Ernest Conner contend in the motion that police Investigator Benjamin Himan and the Police Department illegally and deliberately withheld those and other details that were damaging to their investigation.

In addition to getting to post about sexual devices and general sluttery, this also provides a good topic for tonight’s Sunday Night Poll. This one’s not for the faint of heart…

Sunday Night Poll

May 21st, 2006 at 8:51 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

What was your recreational drug of choice this weekend?

Smack.

“Mary Jane,” as the kids call it these days.

Ol’ Grandad mixed with Vinegar.

Uppers.

Downers.

A mix of uppers and downers, resulting in no buzz whatsoever.

Crystal Meth, when you could get the kids out of the lab long enough.

Oxycontin, so you can be more like Rush.

Huffing a blend of Pam Cooking Spray and Right Guard Aerosol.

Half a tablet of Ecstasy – but only half.


  
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Sunday Night Poll

May 7th, 2006 at 4:08 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

As the illegals have gone back to their homebuilding, leafblowers, taco stands and street gangs, tomorrow we return just another day with a Mexican. At least I’ll be able to get a burrito if the urge strikes (for now…).

So this begs the question, which part of the whole “we’re-illegal-so-meet-our-demands-or-we’ll-continue-to-do-the-jobs-you-won’t-do” protests has pissed you off the most?

What’s the most annoying part
of the illegal immigration hub-bub?

The entire media (including Faux News) refusing to use the word “illegal” to describe illegal immigrants.

The oft-repeated phrase, illegals are
“doing jobs Americans can’t/won’t do.”

The mangled Spanish national anthem.

The faux-patriotism of waving the American flag
when you’re a damn Mexican.

The not-so-sexy love affair between
President Junior and Vicente Fox.

The emotional trauma of being called
“wetback” by a wetback.

The fact that so many Marxists, fellow travelers and other assorted criminals were the organizers and participants in the rallies. (Yet were paraded around by the Old Media as hard-working, family-loving American heroes)

John McCain offering you a job picking
lettuce for $50/hr
and then taking it back.

The potential tragic loss of the burrito.


  
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AS ALWAYS…

Feel free to add your own petitions in the comments.

Sunday Night Poll

March 19th, 2006 at 9:01 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Media darling and (still) grieving mother Cindy Sheehan has been so busy publicly grieving for her deceased son that she hasn’t had the time or money to buy him a headstone.

Despite rolling in the cash from media appearances and speaking fees and selling herself on Ebay, she just hasn’t been able to get it together. Citizen Smash can attest to that.

So what’s she been so busy doing with her valuable time and hard-earned money?


What has kept Cindy Sheehan from getting her deceased son a headstone all this time?

Spent all her money on Hardees’ Thickburgers. How do you think she’s kept up her girlish figure?

Spent all her money on a luxury sex-filled vacation romp to Venezuela – oh, wait, someone else picked up the tab for that one.

Busy cutting little hammer-and-sickles out of red construction paper with safety scissors.

Spends all her non-media time meeting up with Jimmy Carter for tongue-twisting make-out sessions behind Rosalyn’s back.

Busy recording her first solo album – a folk-tinged collaboration with Joan Baez, Sheryl Crow and Cat “Muhammad al-Cocknose” Stevens.

Praying five times a day really eats into your to-do list.

Weeping uncontrollably.


  
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Sunday Night Poll: Homeland Insecurity

February 20th, 2006 at 10:34 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Given President Junior’s lack of concern for our borders, it should come as no surprise that he’s selling out the security of six major U.S. ports to the freakin’ United Arab Emirates. Just consider that concept for a moment. If I wasn’t already painfully aware of President Junior’s political tin ear, I would think this was some type of joke. But, of course, it isn’t.

So, since Junior seems to need a little help with his wacky security schemes, let’s help him make his next strategic move by voting in tonight’s Sunday Monday Night Poll.


What other steps should President Junior take to improve Homeland Security?

Turn over U.S. nuclear plant security to a council of filthy Iranian mullahs.

Put Chechen muslims in charge of U.S. Elementary Schools.

Instead of slackjawed Federal cretins, put Pakistani muslim clerics in charge of Airport Security.

Put members of the new Hamas government in charge of providing security for U.S. Synagogues.

Make Chocolate City Mayor Ray Nagin the new Chancellor of National Weather Planning and Response.

Turn over U.S. national defense to United Nations peacekeepers.

Put Michael Moore in charge of the deep fryer at Steak-n-Shake.


  
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UPDATE:

It gets worse. Dhimmi Carter has announced that he endorses the “turn the ports over to the UAE” plan of action. Call off the deal, President Junior. Call it off.

Monday Afternoon Poll

November 7th, 2005 at 12:57 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

There is news today of a continued hemorrhaging of circulation for many of America’s finest daily newspapers. They’re losing readership at rate only surpassed by the speed at which Paris Hilton collects STDs.

Ordinarily, this kind of news (much like news earlier in the year of layoffs at the New York Times) makes me laugh with such severity that milk comes out my nose. Even if I’m not drinking milk.

NEW YORK — Average weekday circulation at U.S. newspapers fell 2.6 per cent during the six month-period ending in September in the latest sign of trouble in the newspaper business, an industry group reported Monday.

The declines show an acceleration of a years-long trend of falling circulation at daily newspapers as more people, especially young adults, turn to the Internet for news and as newspapers cut back on less profitable circulation.

Of the rest of the top 20 newspapers reporting, all but one, the Star-Ledger of Newark, N.J., posted declines generally ranging between 1 per cent and 8 per cent.

The San Francisco Chronicle, published by Hearst Corp., posted a 16.4 per cent tumble in circulation as the newspaper slashed back on less profitable, heavily discounted and giveaway circulation subsidized by advertisers.

I was just listening to Boortz on the way to pick up a disappointing grilled chicken caesar salad from Panera Bread and he mentioned something that made me reconsider my celebration regarding the decline of the newsie biz.

One particular point he made was that the skid is probably more of a reflection of how much higher the American illiteracy rate is after decades of failed government schooling. That’s a depressing, though pretty realistic, thought.

Another thought that I had was that the drooling idiots in the general public continue to move towards Ophrah’s O Magazine, People and Us Weekly to get the news that really matters to them – you know, why Jen and Brad split up and what Sandra Bollocks is wearing these days. There is such a massive population of uninformed celebrity-culture cretins milling about the country that I fear their affliction may be contagious.

I’d like to think that this massive move away from the daily rag is due to the informed public abandoning a medium that has long been dominated and slanted by liberals, and moving towards more targeted sources of information, such as online news outlets and blogs.

So my question is this (assuming that the average newspaper subscriber is fairly well-informed irrespective of political perspective):


Would you rather have high newspaper readership, even if that results in a misled, but still well-informed, public; or would you rather celebrate the continued demise of an industry that has long been poisoned by pro-socialist bedwetting pansies?

I want high readership and a well-informed public.

To hell with the print media. They did it to themselves.

No real opinion. Just wanted to mash a button with my mouse.


  
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UPDATE:

Aaron’s CC has a few thoughts on declining Old Media newspaper readership as well.

They can’t run their businesses… how can they advise a nation?

Sunday Night Poll

October 16th, 2005 at 6:07 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

President Junior and Harriet at a 1996 ADL love-in (via Debbie Schlussel)

The blogosphere has been abuzz the last two weeks with Harriet Miers-this and Harriet Miers-that. Some people (myself included) have been lamenting President Junior’s atrocious pick for the open SCOTUS seat, while others are saying shut up and support President Junior, no matter what! Still, others are supporting the pick by touting Harriet’s stellar track record (Texas Lottery Commission, Texas Bar Association, Texas Roadhouse Restaurant, Meals on Wheels, etc.) and are tickled pink that she’s going to be the next O’Connor.

The most entertaining part of the whole cyberbrawl thus far has been the variety of defenses used to bolster President Junior’s gargantuan mistake. This brings us to the topic of this week’s Sunday Night Poll.


What has been your favorite defense of the Harriet O’Connor Miers pick?

President Junior says “trust me” and that’s good enough for me. Just like when George looked into Vlad Putin’s eyes and saw his soul, letting him know that Vlad was a man who could be trusted.

She was the best woman candidate we could get at this time. Because the media told us that this was the O’Connor seat, it just HAD to be a woman.

Don’t you realize you’re supporting NARAL and MoveOn.Org everytime you oppose the Miers nomination!?! What are ya’ll, a bunch of moonbats or something?!

Harry Reid nominated her and if that’s good enough for Junior, that’s good enough for me.

Harriet Miers is an Evangelical Christian!

All you Harriet critics are just elitists!

All you Harriet critics are just sexists!

The Dr. Evil Defense.

Andrew Sullivan supports her, that’s good enough for me.

Shut up! Just shut up!


  
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Incidentally, according to Time, the White House plans to re-launch Miers’ SCOTUS nomination this week. Special secret note to Karl Rove: Give me a call if you plan to re-launch it with a better candidate, otherwise, you might as well pack it in.

Sunday Night Poll

October 2nd, 2005 at 10:55 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Stacey Campfield, the only Tennessee lawmaker with an actual blog, has been ruffling feathers across the state with his publicity stunt attempt to join Tennessee’s Congressional Black Caucus. I must admit, I used to visit his blog fairly frequently when I first found out about it, but eventually visited less and less as I couldn’t get past the typos, misspellings and grammatical train wrecks.

Disclaimer aside, I have to give the guy some credit. It’s about time someone called the neo-segregationists out on the carpet. The irony of groups of lawmakers – state or national – forming alliances based solely on skin color seems pretty retro.

The same people who once had to use the colored water fountains and sit in the back of the bus have jumped right back into a separate-but-equal type of political segregation as soon as they got the opportunity. And let’s be intellectually honest about it, if any group of legislators tried to create a Congressional White Caucus, they would be the target of such a vicious attack from the left and their bedwetting partners in the Old Media that they would probably be forced to resign in disgrace. So kudos to Campfield for putting the spotlight on the HYPOCRISY of such race-based legislative sub-groups.

However, now that Campfield has successfully taken on and defeated the overlords in the state’s race-pimping business, it’s time for him to take the fight to other groups who are equally in need of exposure. Which brings us to our poll….

Sunday Night Poll

September 4th, 2005 at 9:50 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

We all know that President Bush doesn’t like black people. I’ve known that since he gave all those black people in Florida such confusing ballots back in 2000 and they wound up voting for Pat Buchanan.

The dirty secret, however, is that there are certain people of color that President Junior cares TOO much about. It’s up to me to bring this type of secret to you people – and let you vote on it! You really seem to love clicking on things.

So tonight’s poll question:


Which person/people of color does President Junior care too much about when he really shouldn’t.

The National Association of Black Journalists

The Congressional Black Caucus

California Congresswoman Barbara Lee

The millions of illegal Mexicans who have ambled across the border on Junior’s watch.

Jesse Jackson’s “Rainbow” Coalition

America’s first black President, William Jefferson Clifford, who he keeps sending on photo-op camping trips with his daddy.

The cast of 227
He apparently has a Marla Gibbs fixation…


  
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Sunday Night Poll

August 21st, 2005 at 6:27 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Historically, the Sunday Night Poll has been a multiple-choice-type of exercise. Sometimes funny, sometimes crap. Anyway, tonight’s is definitely crap. Crap because both Fox News’ incessant Natalie coverage and MSNBC’s incessant Sheehan coverage have both been crap. But which is crappier, I ask you, dear reader?

Both networks should be raked over the coals equally for their respective coverage of non-stories. Fox for pandering for cheap ratings and MSNBC for pandering to their anti-American, Hardball-sheep viewer base.

So the question, which coverage do you find more annoying?


Which news coverage do you find more annoying?

Fox’s Natalee Coverage

Hardball’s Sheehan Bootlicking


  
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UPDATE:

For the record, I don’t watch either one, so I’m not voting.

Sunday Night Monday Afternoon Poll

August 8th, 2005 at 12:01 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

If my freakin’ cable service had actually been up and running last night, I would have been on time with this one. Trust me, a lawsuit against them is already in the works as a result.

This week’s poll takes a look at last week’s NCAA ruling which bans Native American mascots from post-season tournaments – further cementing the fact that we are a indeed a nation of pussies. The slippery slope of political correctness continues to take its toll and, predictably, the left celebrates this brand of censorship, which they usually condemn. It’s especially interesting that the elitist pantshitters at the NCAA took this step since the outcry against the nicknames has been minimal at best.

Anyway, screw them and their politically correct horseshit.

This led me to ponder… what these schools are going to do for new nicknames and mascots? Well, dear reader, that’s where you come in. Help the NCAA with this problem by voting in tonight’s Sunday Night Monday afternoon poll.

Unintentional assistance provided by the Racial Slur Database.


Pick your favorite replacement nickname for the schools impacted by the NCAA’s idiocy?

Central Michigan Runnin’ Retards

Alcorn State Fightin’ Lawn Jockeys

Florida State Rump Rangers

Illinois Gallopin’ Guidos

Utah Carrot Snappers

Arkansas State Ramblin’ Ragheads

Bradley Beaners


  
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Sunday Night Poll

July 31st, 2005 at 10:03 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Let’s face it, Drudge has jumped the shark.

Every time I go there, once I get past the dozen-or-so pop-up ads that assail my eyes and offend my sensibilities, all I get is which movie did the most business over the weekend, which cable news network had the best ratings or what Tom Cruise said the day before. Drudge’s obsession with Hollywood and the entertainment industry in general borders on stalkeresque. You have to wonder if Drudge was a failed actor/musician/writer and has used his internet fame to inject himself into the entertainment industry through his rabid coverage.

It doesn’t help when he scoffs at blogs when his site is nothing more than a glorified link dump. At least many bloggers show some creativity and writing skills (well, other than this one, of course) – all Drudge does is link dump and report the occasional BREAKING story based on one of the millions of tips he gets from his network of insiders.

This leads us to this week’s Sunday Night Poll – what’s the worst thing about Drudge these days?


Which one of Drudge’s afflictions has become the most annoying?

Excessive pop-up ads.

Weekend movie revenue reports.

His weekly radio show (for those of you who listen).

Hollywood/Tom Cruise obsession.

Cable TV news ratings.

Preoccupation with global warming.

His admitted disdain for bloggers and their blogs.


  
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Sunday Night Poll

June 26th, 2005 at 10:29 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

With the U.S. Supreme Court’s current session thankfully spiraling to a devastating end tomorrow, there is still time for more rulings that take away our personal liberties and drag us down further into a miasma of Socialism and greater wealth re-distribution.


Which of our freedoms will SCOTUS take away on the last day of their session tomorrow?

The right to publicly criticize U.S. Supreme Court decisions.

The freedom to choose between Coke and Pepsi.

The freedom to pimp your ride –
no more vehicle conversions allowed.

Sodomy is no longer merely protected by
the “right to privacy” – it’s mandatory.

The freedom to practice any religion other than islam –
the new official religion of the U.S. Government.

Freedom from looking at the hideous mug of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Ginsburg billboards everywhere effective NOW.

The freedom to masturbate outside of new government-prescribed guidelines in the Federally Approved
Self-Satisfaction Regulations Handbook.


  
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Sunday Night Poll

June 19th, 2005 at 9:37 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

We were enjoying a delicious Father’s Day pizza this evening at the Mellow Mushroom when I noticed that one of their TVs was showing some type of hideous bass fishing program on ESPN. No offense to you bass fishermen, but the only thing worse than watching fishing on television is watching fishing in person. No offense of course.

Anyway, that got me to thinking. First I thought… should I have another black-and-tan? Then I thought – what the hell are they doing trying to pass this crap off as sports? Then I realized that this is the same network that actually shows hours upon hours of people playing cards and calls it “entertainment”. This all leads up to tonight’s Sunday Night Poll…


Which pile of unentertaining crap that ESPN tries to pass off as programming sucks the most?
PBA Bowling
Bass-O-Rama Tournament Fishing
Horse Racing
Cheerleading Competitions
Poker
The WNBA
Boxing

  
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Sunday Night Poll

May 1st, 2005 at 9:00 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Stumpling upon Goldstein’s superhero post earlier today gave me a (rare) idea. If you were a superhero — be it blogger superhero or otherwise — what secret weapon and/or fashion accessory would you be most likely to use?

Sunday Night Poll

April 24th, 2005 at 10:46 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

One week from tonight, Family Guy returns to prime-time television. It’s one of the funniest fucking shows of all time and you damn well know it. For those of you out of the loop, Family Guy was cancelled after only three unsuccessful seasons on Fox, only to be revived by a cult following who gobbled up the DVD collections and boosted the Cartoon Network’s late-night “Adult Swim” ratings by watching it in reruns. Brand new episodes start next week.

This got me thinking – what other cancelled/defunct animated prime-time shows should be dug up and brought back to life? You decide:

Poll is now closed. The Critic wins.

Also, last week’s poll is closed.

Apparently, you’re all buying guns, and as I see it – that’s GOOD FOR AMERICA. Thanks for participating in the poll and for buying firearms.

Sunday Night Poll

April 17th, 2005 at 10:43 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

After reminding people to pony up their protection money to Uncle Sam on Income Tax day, I was shocked to learn in the comments that most bloggers appear to be freeloaders who are leeching off the state, instead of hard-working taxpayers, such as myself. (See Eric, Hector Vex and WSK for prime examples from my very small test sample).

As Bill Clinton once said, these are the types of people who don’t deserve a tax break because we can’t be sure “they’ll spend the money the right way.” This leads to this week’s Sunday Night Poll:

POLL CLOSED. RESULTS:

UPDATE:

Previous poll results have now been updated:

Robert Blake Poll

Basketball Poll

Where has Preston Been Poll

Thanks for voting! It makes me feel like slightly less of an idiot when people actually vote in these things.

Sunday Night Poll

April 10th, 2005 at 11:59 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

The blogosphere has been bursting with the question, “Where is Preston?” My inbox is overflowing with emails, most of which ask questions such as… “are you ok?”, “why aren’t you posting?”,”why didn’t you link to [insert news item here]?”,”I don’t know what to think without your help, why won’t you come back?”,”Where is that $80 you owe me, you bastard?”

This Sunday Night Poll may help you determine where I’ve been over the last four days. I know it’s been hard on you, but I’ll try not to leave you alone like that again, at least not without getting you a blog gigolo for the weekend.

UPDATE:

Okay, so this one was a bit of a dud. However, this poll does prove that my readers know me quite well. Results:

Sunday Night Poll

March 27th, 2005 at 10:08 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

This is the first sports-related Sunday Night Poll. We’ll now see how good my visitors are at prognostication.

UPDATE:

Apparently not very good. All you sheep picked Illinois because that’s who ESPN told you to pick. Chumps.

Sunday Night Poll

March 20th, 2005 at 10:37 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

This poll is now closed. Thanks to the 51 fruitcakes who decided that Robert Blake’s new job should be that of GAY MALE PROSTITUTE. Results below:

Sunday Night Poll

March 13th, 2005 at 10:52 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

It’s that time again… time for me to get out my poll. No, don’t look away. Really…

Tonight we look at headlines we might secretly wish to see this week.

By the way, at this moment, last Sunday’s poll, How did Giuliana Sgrena spend her month in the brutal captivity of her comrades captors? is TIED. I’m going to give the Sgrena poll until tomorrow morning and call it. Nobody likes a tie. Except those fruity Euro-Socialist Soccer pussies. They seem to get off on a 1-1 final score. So somebody go over there and break the tie for me. I can’t do it, that would be unethical and I might get a call from Jordan.

UPDATE:

The tie has been broken and the final results are up for last week’s Sunday Night Poll. Go check out the stunning results!

UPDATE:

Poll is now closed. This one was no contest. Pretty much everyone wanted to see Iran’s nuke program taken out, but sadly it hasn’t happened yet. Hope springs eternal, however.

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