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Archive for the ‘Survival’ Category



EqualityPlus Fails The Crash Test

January 17th, 2012 at 11:48 am by Brian

Like the Costa Concordia, I’ve been struck and sinking under the commentary about the men aboard that certain floating buffet of finger foods and all inclusive liquor who abdicated their time honored duty of protecting Women and Children First.

Was this ship a time machine?  Are we in the 19th century?

It seems like gender war and imagined parity is the order of the day until you’re waist deep in the drink. Then it’s “Save me!  Save me!  Women and children first!”

That’s not just water around your waist.  That’s equality creeping up on you.  Cold isn’t it?

Is it everything you hoped it would be?  Is it worth an extra  23 cents on the dollar to know that the stranger next to you is going to, at peril to themselves, throw you over their shoulder and carry you to safety because you ovulate half of your life?

Call it The Knight Fee.  The Chivalry Tax.  Includes free door openings and roadside assistance.

I’m just saying.  Everyone needs to pay their Fair Share ™.

Disclaimer:  Author fully endorses Women and Children First Policy.  Theses views are the author’s alone and do not represent the official policy of those of SixMeatBuffet.com, Six Meat Buffet, LLC, Seis Carne, S.A. de C.V. or our parent company DynoGlobal Chemcorp Heavy Industries.

More:  Herr Krumm

America’s Gone Soft-Serve

September 30th, 2011 at 2:49 am by Brian


From the President of the International Union of Projectionists Against America:

Mr. Obama, in an interview with WESH-TV in Orlando, said his administration has been tough on the country’s trading partners and tried to strengthen U.S. manufacturing.

“This is a great great country that had gotten a little soft and we didn’t have that same competitive edge that we needed over the last couple of decades,” Mr. Obama said in response to a question about the country’s economic future. “We need to get back on track.”

Nothing 99 weeks of unemployment and taxpayer funded payoffs to those svelte union workers can’t fix.

Not to worry when you know Obama’s working his fingers to the cone for you.

You ole softie.

 

Is This Country Worth Saving? (Part 2)

June 11th, 2011 at 10:29 am by Brian

Violent Felon And His Gump Humping Accomplice

In what, unfortunately, is becoming part of a continuing series.

When last we left our listing ship of state, an Iraqi War Vet was intentionally murdered in his home by a SWAT team who wanted no prisoners and has since taken a vow of silence that would make monks envious.

Since then, our beknighted Supreme Court has held that evading our increasingly militarized police force in itself constituting a “violent felony” and the Department of Education (which shouldn’t even exist) has discovered that it has the power to issue warrants for arrest and maintain a standing SWAT team to enforce Collections of past due student loans with deadly force or other non-violent offenses.

I can only assume that Chief Injustice Roberts and Injustice Alito will soon find that inability to payback the loan on your education constitutes a violent felony as well and is “inherently dangerous” because you have created a situation where the SWAT team might kill you.

This is not America.  Our Supreme Court has a prevailing statist homodoxy with no regard for the 4th Amendment or individual liberty.   I blame the Harvard/Yale monopoly on the court.  Sure we’ve got two Italians, a black, a wise Latina, two lesbians, a clatch of metrosexual crackers and a flip-flopping Father Time but they all have one thing in common – Homodoxy of Education.   They all went to the same two schools and have never been exposed to a world outside of those Ivy League enclaves.  We’re a country of 300 Million plus people.  How can 9 people from two schools possibly be the one size fits all approach when they’ve all mutated from the same intellectual petri dish?

It’s time for a moratorium on Harvard and Yale being anointed to lead our country and the court. The Egghead-ocracy has failed or else we wouldn’t be complaining.  We’re living in The Simpson’s “They Saved Lisa’s Brain” episode with deadly results.

Sometimes evading the police is a necessity.  Ask any woman traveling alone who has been pulled over by an unmarked police car.  Almost anyone would tell her that if she cannot identify the car behind her as a police car that she should continue driving, following the rules of the road, to a well-lit public area.  By the standard the Supreme Court has enacted this week, any criminal impersonating a police officer has a new weapon in their rape arsenal provided by our illustrious Supreme Court.

I also take it that now any time a van full of illegal aliens  refuses to pull over that they will all be charged with felonies and deported, correct?

Why are our cars designed to travel faster than the speed limit?  Why are we even given the choice if the penalty for using it is the loss of your voting rights and ability to get a job? And above all else, why are we surrendering individual freedom to people who have been shown time and time again to fall far from sainthood and abuse it?

The Supreme Court is making police officers the new Priesthood.  Instead of Scarlet A’s on our chests they mark Scarlet DUI’s to the sung glory of MADD madrigals.  Instead of molesting altar boys, they coerce sexual favors from motorists in exchange for leniency.  Not all, but enough to not give the entire profession a pass on infringing on everyone else’s rights.

Our highest court has been compromised and with it our freedom is on hiatus for their lifetime appointments.  The Dark Ages of American Liberty.

Why Won’t The Internet Stop Masturbating Me?

June 9th, 2011 at 9:43 pm by Brian

You’ve got to rove Arrec Bawrin.  Sure, it’s been several decades since Glengarry Glen Ross, but he’s still the closer.  Are you interested???  I know you are:

Which brings me to Anthony Weiner.

The Internet, as I understand it, is best for sharing information, ideas and even feelings. We send our thoughts and feelings, our very spirit, over the airwaves, with astounding velocity. At times, as human beings, we want to attach the body to the feelings, as well. Photos of ourselves and loved ones. Pets. The view out our window. The image of a child’s purity.

Barring any further revelations about the underage purity of the children Mr. Weiner of the Incalculable  Certitude, may or may not have spanked his Hebrew National to – that might have been Mr. Barrwin’s most unfortunate turn of phrase in this curiously unsolicited defense of the wanky Weiner.

Photos to find love. To find sex.

My thought on Weiner is that he is a very busy man.

For high functioning men like Weiner and other officials who have lived through such scandals, who are constantly on the go, that leaves one tried and true source of a reliable high. The affirmation that comes when someone lets you know they want to sleep with you. Or even cyber-sleep with you.

“High functioning” weiners, aside the running sexting joke is that no one ever knew if the person on the other end was a hot co-ed or a beefy bear with the keyboard of a slutty angel.

One busy gentlemen may feel a bit betrayed if he comes home from his busy day at work to find his missus jilling off to a tattooed, unemployed construction worker who’s milking the coconuts to his veiny palm tree on the other end of the Skype connection.  Much less half a dozen construction workers.

Who can say?  Working for Hillary Clinton might be a walk in the park.  A park fraught with flashers in trenchcoats.  Or the ever-gracious  frotteurs on the subway who, above all others, understand how pressed for time you are.

This is sex for many people now. No time for Mateus and cheap spaghetti. No time for slowly moving toward one another with a combination of hope and caution, lust and integrity. One can push a button and get something beyond porn. Porn is essentially two dimensional. One sees and hears. Internet sexting can be perceived as three dimensional by adding the component of “feel”, regardless of how cheap and unearned those feelings are. That person on the screen is doing whatever they’re doing… just for you.

Is this a defense or a confessional?

We tell ourselves that these devices help us communicate more effectively. What they actually do is allow us to bypass the person lying right next to us, across the room from us or at an airport heading home to us, in order to meet our immediate, even inconvenient, needs. To bypass their moods, their current view of us and their own desires, or lack thereof.

Weiner is a modern human being. So he ensnared himself in things that modern humans do. When I first heard about his problems, I snickered and made jokes, too. Now, I’m sad for him, his family, his district and his colleagues.

Let he who is without sin…

So only the atheists should be allowed to criticize Weiner by Barwin’s standard.  Preferably ones who aren’t so modern or busy.  Lazy Luddites who are fapping in the ways of our forefathers.

Through all of this, there is an unreasonable assumption that Weiner only played Hide The Salami with himself and throughout his engagement and marriage that he never indulged in an extra-marital affair.  He’s earned it, right?

Running a self-styled gauntlet of leftarded bimbos and pornstars stands he, Integritous Masturbatus.

An undeserved presumption of innocence for someone who played fast and loose with anyone on Twitter who paid him a compliment.

Damn you, sexy Internet.  I’m a married man!  And oh so busy.

 

Scabs Wanted: Must Like Pineapples, Pit Ham, And Rich Women In Bikinis

March 6th, 2011 at 2:21 pm by Brian

To paraphrase John Kerry* “Education, if you make the most of it, and you study hard and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart you can do well.  And if you don’t you can end up stuck in a union job.

Always pissing and moaning about how bad you have it.  Take these guys for example:

Hawaiian Electric Co. used managers and outside contractors to repair storm-damaged power lines yesterday after its unionized work force walked off the job over a contract dispute.

HECO executives said the strike would slow efforts to restore service to about 8,000 Oahu homes and businesses, mostly in the Ewa Beach area, that were without power last night.

Opening question:  Should it be too hard to find some electrical contractors who would like to live in Hawaii and retire at age 62?

So union workers decided to target going on strike at the exact moment that they were needed most for maximum threat to public safety.

Nice respirator.  It would be a shame if something happened to it like, say, if the power went out and you needed it for life support.

“It’s just circumstance,” (IBEW union strike capo)Ito said. “It wasn’t like a strategic plan to say, ‘Yeah, we’re going to strike now because the power lines are down.’”

And if you believe that, I’ve got an Obamacare waiver I’d like to sell you.

Any out-of-work electrical contractors up for moving to the mean streets of Hawaii to earn your bread and maybe save a few lives?

On Crime And A Lack of Punishment

November 14th, 2010 at 9:09 am by Brian

Clayton Cramer has an interesting contrarian notion over at PJM challenging longheld assumptions about crime being related to unemployment rates and how we’ve got it all terribly wrong:

Crime and unemployment: everyone knows that they go together. Right? Unemployed people, desperate for enough money to pay their bills, buy groceries, and get medical care (since those heartless Republicans think “don’t get sick” is a health care plan), must turn to crime. At the very least, disheartened men sitting at home are going to lose their tempers, get into fights, and shoot their spouses.

Like most conventional wisdom among the elites, it turns out not to be true.

Mr. Cramer proceeds with several charts showing the declining crime rate in several violent categories which I’m not disputing.  What I contend is that what he’s calling a lack of correlation is based on a lack of causation.  Which may be lulling him into a false sense of security about his fellow man.  Something that’s not taken into account here is how the availability of easy revolving credit can effect these numbers.

(more…)

Tick, Tick, Tick…

October 11th, 2009 at 8:41 pm by Brian

I don’t know what Day By Day’s copyright standards are or I would have reposted it here but this pretty well sums it up.

The Problem With Electing A Sissy President

March 14th, 2009 at 10:21 am by Brian

newsweek-bush-wimp

My, how times have changed – No Obama bicycle helmet need apply

After you abandon our allies on missile defense, after you send Carrot Top to execute your foreign policy, after you want to engage “the moderate wing” of the Taliban, after you lick the boot heel of Bashir, after you seek to give Hamas a billion dollars, after you’ve capitulated on every conceivable front – they still want to expand by putting long range bomber bases 90 miles off of your coast.

Weakness invites aggression.  Wash, rinse and doomed to repeat.

Apparently the locquacious commie-in-chief in Russia doesn’t take the weekend off to galavant around to Chicago bistros with his bitter half:

Zhikharev, who is the chief of staff of the Russian Air Force’s long-range aviation, said, “If the two chiefs of state display such a political will, we are ready to fly there.”

We’re going to be staring down the next Cuban Missile Crisis while Comrade Urkel blithely observes “unhelpful” provocateurs preparing for bombing runs 90 miles off our coast.   Those bombers aren’t going to deliver humanitarian aid and they aren’t there to deter the looming Mexican invasion of Cuba.

It’s a threat that is going to go unanswered.

Keep it up, Pooty.  We’ll have that radical, rightwing President with his finger back on the button soon enough.

Death to Venezuela!  Death to Chavez! ’10  Rain Hot Death on Raul Castro.

Now there’s some election slogans I can get behind.

Back to the “wimp” thing.  Politics as perception, etc., etc.   Bush might have been rocking the “Gorton’s Fisherman” look but no matter what side of the boat you come down on – this is straight-up gay.  All hands on the poop deck-type gay.

quite-possibly-gay

Putin’s in a judo outfit and catching salmon with his teeth next to a mountain stream while scolding a bear for standing too close and the Democrats give us Urkel on a bicycle and Kerry crawling around like the Neil Armstrong of test tube babies.

Symbolism matters.  Urkel on a bike is going to equal an as yet undetermined number of dead soldiers one day.

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