… and Toad Blogging is back!

Just get a look at these little buggers coming out of the woodwork!

This guy lives near the front porch and dines nightly at the walkway light.

Though technically not a toad, froggie has made his summer home at my pond.

These toads appear every Thursday at the Philadelphia Suburban Station. Though kindly, I approached with caution and asked if they thought Obama was going to change it. To this fella’s credit, the cause for nonviolence applies to the new administration.

Not so much with this specimen who still believes Bush is in office.

It’s your occasional dose of Politically Incorrect Saturday morning cartoons from yesteryear. Remember when we used to be able to stereotype Mexicans and get away with it? Those were the days.

The Sheriff reminds me of the Dim-O-Cracks when they attempt to stand up to islamofascism. The Toads also take on monetary policy in “A Pair of Greenbacks”.

Cranky, this counts as Toad Blogging™, by the way.

Who knew the Obamessiah would be challenged so early?

Who else? TNOYF.

*Bonus! Filed under Toad Blogging as well.

As Vinnie so aptly put it, Hollywood just got 100% shittier.

Of course, Charlton was one of those nasty “activists” who stood in the way of the global good, according to the Anti-American-Associated Press. I’m sure glad there are no other activists in Hollywood, or that might cheapen their consistently excellent product.

Unfortunately, whenever I think of Charlton Heston, I also think of the Stump video “Charlton Heston” from the late-1980’s glory days of MTV’s 120 minutes. Video below the fold. The video also qualifies this post as “Toad Blogging”.

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Any article which concludes with this line is OK in my book.

(sirloin tip: Insty)

Those crazy Japanese. Is there nothing their superior technology cannot do?

Sure we laughed at their mutant Godzilla monsters, but this stuff is getting serious. And seriously cool.

(s/t Nigel)

Heartbreaking too. Say can someone locate this on YouTube?

(s/t) The damn Llamas

They’d all appear here.

(s/t Are We Lumberjacks)

My babies, the green frogs tend to be a lazy group of welfare recipients. While mowing the lawn today, I chased two turbo leopard frogs (sorry, no photo available) out of the long grass. To be fair, I believe the green frogs are nocturnal.

However, when I came across my Carbon Offset Victory™ pond, what should I find but no less than seven of these little bad boys.

They really do sit on the lily pads just like the cartoons.

For those following the saga of the garden itself, please note that I completely lost the battle of the jungle weeds. All the nice Hastas and Ferns are lost in the Lucifer Grass. Robbo has never had it so easy in his gardening travails.

On hot summer nights, when the rain is falling and the pavement is still warm to the touch…

they come out and lay on the road. Dozens of them. They only have one apparent wish. To DIE!

Does the warm pavement feel good on their bellies? Are they depressed over ozone depletion? We may never know – they’re not telling.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention, no toads were harmed in the documenting of this bizarre phenomenon. In fact, it often takes the documentor forever to get to the end of the street because he keeps stopping the car and shooing the toad to the side of the road.

It’s the Summer of 2007 and we’re back!

First come the micro-toads. From a nearby pond, hundreds of these little fingernail sized toads emerge and spread out throughout the neighborhood yards.

Next, a few of the smart ones will set up shop under walkway lights and proceed to balloon up like Al Gore’s ego backstage at Live Earth upon receiving an emotional handjob from Dave Matthews

BTW, this is my Carbon Offset Victory Garden. So far, it offsets more carbon than a 50,000 sq.ft. mansion. You’re welcome. (Thanks again to your generous donations to save the planet.)

Oh the humanity!

What people will do for an erection. They should ask the French. Frogs do nothing.

My Offset Victory Pond™ is nearly complete and Mother Gaia is ready to party!

Meet the first frog of Spring. I think we’ll call him Captain Equinox.

Uh oh. Run Captain Equiniox! Run!

BTW, do you suppose that this presents some sort of problem for PETA people? I think the snake may be having “unethical” thoughts about my Captain.

Check out this behemoth from Australia.

I’m Juggernaut, Beayatch

Tragically, the Aussies are engaging in some Anti-South American bigotry. (Don’t read the whole article, trust me).

(Sirloin tip to Linda Sog)

All this toad-lovin’ is paying off. Now the toads are delivering the goods:

There’s more too!

(sirloin tip Billy)

Beneath the frozen ground, my reptilian children slumber. However, there are legends in these parts that if a tropical frog emerges and sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of Winter.

Meet Philadelphia Wartz. We had quite a ceremony this weekend when he emerged from the mud and promptly dove back under.

It will be a cold Spring indeed.

Thanks to CatBat for the pic.

Ribbit, ribbit. Hey I’m a toad. What the f&*# you lookin’ at? You think I’m a newt? Say dat to my face.

Image courtesy of CatBat who couldn’t bear the thought of no Toad Blogging. A shout out to annika too. Skul, where ya at?

Due to circumstances beyond our control, Toad Blogging has been suspended until further notice.

We apologize for the inconvenience.

-The Management

Toad Blogging Archives.

Sometimes manning the Buffet is a thankless job. Then something like this happens. This Thursday, I’m working the mail room – sorting out Smantix’s penile enlargement meds, Preston’s Florida real estate seminar tapes, etc. when this package arrived.

There was no return address, so if I had any common sense, I would have called the FBI or flushed the package. However, it was addressed to Toad Blogging c/o Cranky.

What could I do? Like a child on Christmas morning, I ripped the package open and found the above snapshot and this movie (warning, slow load times – hardcore Toad Blogging fans only, please).

Thanks again to Doug.

This whole “decapitate the Pope for condeming Islam as violent” along with the “sure they’d kill me for being gay, but hey, they hate Catholics too!” stuff going on is so depressing.

Hey look, a cute toad!

After the jump….

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In my day to day life I am often asked, “Cranky, what should I do if I’m attacked by a toad?”

Very patiently I explain that they should not feel humiliated as this happens more often than the MSM would let on. Then I’ll take about 20 minutes to explain the important and potentially life-saving actions one must take to survive a full-on toad attack.

Reproduced for your convenience is the Toad Attack Survival Guide.

Toads are known for the ability to put animals larger than themselves into their mouths. If attacked, you shouldn’t panic, but you ought to – they’re vicious.

Toads will go for the throat in an effort to bring down a large animal. You must allow them to “size you up” as you remain motionless. Eventually even the greediest toad will realize that you’re too big to eat.

Nothing will cause to toad to lose interest in you faster than when it thinks you are dead. Toads eat only live prey.

Other helpful tips to prevent toad attacks:

• Do not have any insects anywhere in your home. Toads are attracted to crickets, moths and other small insects.
• Do not have any standing water within 100 yards of your home. Toads, like frogs will lay their eggs in just about any body of water. In a few short weeks, you will be dealing with hundreds if not a thousand young killers.
• Do not, under any circumstances loan any money to toads. This will only encourage their behavior and bring them back your way soon.

More Toad Blogging:
Sean Gleeson finds another vicious toad.
Toad Blogging gallery.

Go check it out! I think you’ve started a trend, Cranky!

Thanks to CatBat, this week’s toads are a couple of primadonnas swept right off the runways of Milan and Paris. No garden-variety house toads these.

Watch these two, they will soon be appearing in the nude for a PETA no-fur campaign.

We now resume our regularly scheduled program.

More Toad Blogging