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Preston Taylor Holmes
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The O.C., California

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Parts Unknown, California



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Archive for the ‘Toad Blogging’ Category



The Pacman frog and other natural oddities

June 23rd, 2010 at 8:00 am by Cranky


The graceful Pacman frog


The slightly less well known Space Invader turtle


And who could forget the Frogger Armadillo?

We Are Frooooogs!

May 27th, 2010 at 9:28 pm by Cranky

From Greece comes this dramatic re-enactment of the movie 300 performed by migrating frogs.

Please excuse the first lame toad, Katie Couric. You have to watch the CBS news plug before getting to the main feature.


Watch CBS News Videos Online

Who says everything coming out of Greece sucks?

Summer’s Here

June 15th, 2009 at 9:02 pm by Cranky

… and Toad Blogging is back!

Just get a look at these little buggers coming out of the woodwork!

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This guy lives near the front porch and dines nightly at the walkway light.

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Though technically not a toad, froggie has made his summer home at my pond.

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These toads appear every Thursday at the Philadelphia Suburban Station. Though kindly, I approached with caution and asked if they thought Obama was going to change it. To this fella’s credit, the cause for nonviolence applies to the new administration.

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Not so much with this specimen who still believes Bush is in office.

Saturday Morning Cartoons

March 14th, 2009 at 10:13 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

It’s your occasional dose of Politically Incorrect Saturday morning cartoons from yesteryear. Remember when we used to be able to stereotype Mexicans and get away with it? Those were the days.

The Sheriff reminds me of the Dim-O-Cracks when they attempt to stand up to islamofascism. The Toads also take on monetary policy in “A Pair of Greenbacks”.

Cranky, this counts as Toad Blogging™, by the way.

Up To The Challenge?

November 13th, 2008 at 8:12 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Who knew the Obamessiah would be challenged so early?

Who else? TNOYF.

*Bonus! Filed under Toad Blogging as well.

RIP, Charlton

April 6th, 2008 at 10:41 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

As Vinnie so aptly put it, Hollywood just got 100% shittier.

Of course, Charlton was one of those nasty “activists” who stood in the way of the global good, according to the Anti-American-Associated Press. I’m sure glad there are no other activists in Hollywood, or that might cheapen their consistently excellent product.

Unfortunately, whenever I think of Charlton Heston, I also think of the Stump video “Charlton Heston” from the late-1980′s glory days of MTV’s 120 minutes. Video below the fold. The video also qualifies this post as “Toad Blogging”.

(more…)

My Kind of News

November 17th, 2007 at 10:38 pm by Cranky

Any article which concludes with this line is OK in my book.

The toad is in custody at a police crime lab

(sirloin tip: Insty)

See Thru Frogs!

September 27th, 2007 at 12:50 pm by Cranky

Those crazy Japanese. Is there nothing their superior technology cannot do?

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Sumida said his team, which announced the research last week at an academic conference, had created the first transparent four-legged creature, although some small fish are also see-through.

The researchers produced the creature from rare mutants of the Japanese brown frog, or Rena japonica, whose backs are usually ochre or brown.

Sure we laughed at their mutant Godzilla monsters, but this stuff is getting serious. And seriously cool.

(s/t Nigel)

Toadal Carnage

September 20th, 2007 at 10:21 am by Cranky

Heartbreaking too. Say can someone locate this on YouTube?

(s/t) The damn Llamas

If God Meant for Frogs to Fly

August 30th, 2007 at 11:34 am by Cranky

They’d all appear here.

(s/t Are We Lumberjacks)

Toad Blogging – Lazy August Sunday Edition

August 26th, 2007 at 4:45 pm by Cranky

My babies, the green frogs tend to be a lazy group of welfare recipients. While mowing the lawn today, I chased two turbo leopard frogs (sorry, no photo available) out of the long grass. To be fair, I believe the green frogs are nocturnal.

However, when I came across my Carbon Offset Victory™ pond, what should I find but no less than seven of these little bad boys.

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They really do sit on the lily pads just like the cartoons.

For those following the saga of the garden itself, please note that I completely lost the battle of the jungle weeds. All the nice Hastas and Ferns are lost in the Lucifer Grass. Robbo has never had it so easy in his gardening travails.

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Toad Blogging – Twas a Dark and Stormy Night

July 10th, 2007 at 3:10 pm by Cranky
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On hot summer nights, when the rain is falling and the pavement is still warm to the touch…

 

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they come out and lay on the road. Dozens of them. They only have one apparent wish. To DIE!

 

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Does the warm pavement feel good on their bellies? Are they depressed over ozone depletion? We may never know – they’re not telling.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention, no toads were harmed in the documenting of this bizarre phenomenon. In fact, it often takes the documentor forever to get to the end of the street because he keeps stopping the car and shooing the toad to the side of the road.

Toad Blogging – The Season Begins!

July 4th, 2007 at 2:51 pm by Cranky
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It’s the Summer of 2007 and we’re back!

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First come the micro-toads. From a nearby pond, hundreds of these little fingernail sized toads emerge and spread out throughout the neighborhood yards.

Next, a few of the smart ones will set up shop under walkway lights and proceed to balloon up like Al Gore’s ego backstage at Live Earth upon receiving an emotional handjob from Dave Matthews

BTW, this is my Carbon Offset Victory Garden. So far, it offsets more carbon than a 50,000 sq.ft. mansion. You’re welcome. (Thanks again to your generous donations to save the planet.)

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Those Sick B*stards

May 4th, 2007 at 4:40 pm by Cranky

Oh the humanity!

At least 50 customers a day ask for steaming beer mugs of frog juice at Gonzalez’s countertop-only restaurant in eastern Lima, and many treat the concoction as their morning — and afternoon — cup of coffee.

What people will do for an erection. They should ask the French. Frogs do nothing.

Toad Blogging Returns

April 23rd, 2007 at 8:21 am by Cranky

My Offset Victory Pond™ is nearly complete and Mother Gaia is ready to party!

Meet the first frog of Spring. I think we’ll call him Captain Equinox.


Uh oh. Run Captain Equiniox! Run!

BTW, do you suppose that this presents some sort of problem for PETA people? I think the snake may be having “unethical” thoughts about my Captain.

Pre-season Toad Blogging

March 27th, 2007 at 8:58 am by Cranky

Check out this behemoth from Australia.


I’m Juggernaut, Beayatch

Tragically, the Aussies are engaging in some Anti-South American bigotry. (Don’t read the whole article, trust me).

(Sirloin tip to Linda Sog)

Toad Blogging – The Payoff

March 13th, 2007 at 2:08 pm by Cranky

All this toad-lovin’ is paying off. Now the toads are delivering the goods:

This is the majestic Blue Spotted Skipping Frog (BSSF). Completely unknown to science until just recently, the BSSF was discovered by a small group of scientists near Borneo.

According to leading expert, Dr. Brackowitz, preliminary testing suggests that the BSSF:

  • emits a chemical known to enter the Earth’s upper atmosphere and reverse global warming.
  • sheds a protective coat that provides the means to safely harness fusion energy.

There’s more too!

(sirloin tip Billy)

Winter Toad Interlude

February 3rd, 2007 at 5:06 pm by Cranky

Beneath the frozen ground, my reptilian children slumber. However, there are legends in these parts that if a tropical frog emerges and sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of Winter.

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Meet Philadelphia Wartz. We had quite a ceremony this weekend when he emerged from the mud and promptly dove back under.

It will be a cold Spring indeed.

Thanks to CatBat for the pic.

6MB Moment of Zen

November 22nd, 2006 at 1:10 am by annika

Toad Blogging?

October 24th, 2006 at 7:22 pm by Cranky
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Ribbit, ribbit. Hey I’m a toad. What the f&*# you lookin’ at? You think I’m a newt? Say dat to my face.

Image courtesy of CatBat who couldn’t bear the thought of no Toad Blogging. A shout out to annika too. Skul, where ya at?

Toad Blogging

October 22nd, 2006 at 9:05 pm by Cranky

Due to circumstances beyond our control, Toad Blogging has been suspended until further notice.

We apologize for the inconvenience.

-The Management

Toad Blogging Archives.

Toad Blogging

September 23rd, 2006 at 9:40 pm by Cranky
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Sometimes manning the Buffet is a thankless job. Then something like this happens. This Thursday, I’m working the mail room – sorting out Smantix’s penile enlargement meds, Preston’s Florida real estate seminar tapes, etc. when this package arrived.

There was no return address, so if I had any common sense, I would have called the FBI or flushed the package. However, it was addressed to Toad Blogging c/o Cranky.

What could I do? Like a child on Christmas morning, I ripped the package open and found the above snapshot and this movie (warning, slow load times – hardcore Toad Blogging fans only, please).

Thanks again to Doug.

Toad Blogging

September 17th, 2006 at 12:29 am by Cranky

This whole “decapitate the Pope for condeming Islam as violent” along with the “sure they’d kill me for being gay, but hey, they hate Catholics too!” stuff going on is so depressing.

Hey look, a cute toad!

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A Double-Shot of Labor Day Weekend Toad Blogging

September 3rd, 2006 at 6:31 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

After the jump….

(more…)

Toad Blogging

August 28th, 2006 at 12:01 pm by Cranky

In my day to day life I am often asked, “Cranky, what should I do if I’m attacked by a toad?”

Very patiently I explain that they should not feel humiliated as this happens more often than the MSM would let on. Then I’ll take about 20 minutes to explain the important and potentially life-saving actions one must take to survive a full-on toad attack.

Reproduced for your convenience is the Toad Attack Survival Guide.

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Toads are known for the ability to put animals larger than themselves into their mouths. If attacked, you shouldn’t panic, but you ought to – they’re vicious.

Toads will go for the throat in an effort to bring down a large animal. You must allow them to “size you up” as you remain motionless. Eventually even the greediest toad will realize that you’re too big to eat.

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Nothing will cause to toad to lose interest in you faster than when it thinks you are dead. Toads eat only live prey.

Other helpful tips to prevent toad attacks:

  • Do not have any insects anywhere in your home. Toads are attracted to crickets, moths and other small insects.
  • Do not have any standing water within 100 yards of your home. Toads, like frogs will lay their eggs in just about any body of water. In a few short weeks, you will be dealing with hundreds if not a thousand young killers.
  • Do not, under any circumstances loan any money to toads. This will only encourage their behavior and bring them back your way soon.

More Toad Blogging:
Sean Gleeson finds another vicious toad.
Toad Blogging gallery.

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