Six Meat Buffet

Kids Make The Best Human Shields

Preston Taylor Holmes — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:16:34 +0000

Remember that Islam teaches deceit as an approved strategy when waging jihad.

It’s difficult to fight an enemy who doesn’t value human life. These are the animals bent on the destruction of the West.

Via Jihad Watch.

Get Out Da Vote

Preston Taylor Holmes — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:06:28 +0000

Go and pull the lever for Friend of the Buffet™ Ken at Blue Collar Muse for Best Conservative Blog in the 2008 Bloggies. He’s up against some of the blogosphere’s big boys (and girls) so lend a hand.

Racist Senator Reid Calls For Firehoses, Dogs

Preston Taylor Holmes — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 16:42:06 +0000

Harry Reid prevents threatening black man from breaking into the U.S. Senate chambers.

WASHINGTON – Roland Burris announced Tuesday he was rejected for Barack Obama’s Senate seat, in a bizarre rainy-day scene on the Capitol grounds as lawmakers awaited the gaveling of the 111th Congress into session.

Standing amid a huge throng of reporters and television cameras in a cold and steady rain, Burris, 71, declared that he had been informed that “my credentials are not in order and will not be accepted.”

The former Illinois attorney general said he was “not seeking to have any type of confrontation” over taking the seat that he was appointed to by embattled Gov. Rod Blagojevich. But Burris also said he was looking at options for taking the seat.

As much of a political stunt as Burris’ appointment is, he is, by law, qualified to be seated. Sure he’s a product of the Illinois Dim-O-Crack Thug Machine™, but Reid has no legal grounds to keep him out, other than his own dislike for the lesser races.

I can hear Cyndi Lauper singing “True Colors” in the background as Burris walks away, alone, dejected, in the rain, his shoes and socks soaked by a passing D.C. taxi. Heartbreaking.

Comcast * Hearts * Hamas

Preston Taylor Holmes — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:01:58 +0000

You can add Comcast to the list of those weeping over those mean Israelis and how they’re daring to defend themselves. How dare they!

Just in case the Old Media hasn’t yet convinced you, it’s Israel that is the aggressor here. Never mind the hundreds of rockets Hamas has been flinging into Israel for the past six weeks.

Israel “won’t stop it’s crippling assault”… Israel “attacked mosques” in a “relentless campaign”… that took an “increasing toll on civilians”. Never mind that those civilians are intentionally positioned human shields.

Keep it up, Old Media. You stopped actually informing us long ago, at least you can entertain us with your comedic wordplay.

Douchebags.

Amber Alert Issued For Rahm Emanuel

Brian — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 02:15:25 +0000

Has anyone seen this man?

If so, please notify your nearest special prosecutor.

Last Known Whereabouts: Hiding behind his children.

Known accomplices: Barack Obama aka Barry Soetoro, aka Chesty McBreasticles, aka The Beige Unicorn

Movie Review: Marley & Us

Brian — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 14:33:14 +0000

Like the lemming that I am, I admit to contributing an extra $20 to the pot that has already earned close to $100 million dollars in the 9 days since ‘Marley & Me’ was released. At the screening I saw at Green Hills last night, the theater was so packed that the ushers were re-seating people to make room for everyone looking for a spot.

Sorry if we’re not licking the ‘Milk’ out of your saucer, Hollywood.

It is a testament to the nature of the American people that they would freely give up a hundred large for a mawkish send-up cynically and laboriously designed to pluck at your heart strings.

This is what makes our culture different from the Islamic ones. We care more about our dogs than they care about their children.

I’m not going to go into any spoilers here like I usually would. Suffice it to say, when you bring a pet into your family it is an assumption that your pet is going to pass away one day. The loss of a pet is different in ways from losing a relative or friend because so many times the love of an animal is completely unconditional. People have conditions. All we ask of our pets is that they don’t attack any small children, pee on the rug or track mud through the house and we are willing to compromise on the last two.

Admittedly, I don’t cry at movies or funerals. Partly because I’m some kind of monster but mainly because the former is specifically designed to evoke a response and the latter because they’re designed too well to exploit some tragedy in your life.

If you feel the need to take part in the Great National Cry of ‘Marley & Me’ in need of some cathartic release because your 401k has dropped 40% - go in prepared. Don’t go out and buy a labrador or a chihuahua because all of the chirrens are going to want a Marley of their own or a celebrity handbag like Paris Hilton unless the thought of animal shelters overflowing with our forgotten friends doesn’t matter to you.

A pet is a voluntary commitment not unlike a marriage. It is ’til death do you part and the failure of the relationship to work is strictly on your part. For a child, it is usually the first real measure of responsibility that they will ever have and an important tool to help them show devotion to something outside of themselves.

If you are one of the soulless pod peoples incapable of taking care of yourself or others - go buy a cat. There’s a reason why there are dozens of famous dogs but the most famous cats are cartoons.

Regrettable Headline Of The Day

Brian — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 13:36:02 +0000

This one comes from The Boston Herald. *Groan*

And by *groan* I mean in a stomach turning way, not *groan* in a fit of toe-curling, homosexual ecstasy kind of way. I guess it could be both.

“Sean Penn Cream Of Crop As ‘Milk’”

Geez guys, please tell me you didn’t see that one coming.

Saving the Legacy Media

Cranky — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 21:50:13 +0000

Perhaps if once - once - papers would defy their “conventional wisdom” and write a story that didn’t fall back on their own preconceived notions, people might be a little more interested in what they’re saying.

I mean, isn’t it a given that Republican presidencies cause homelessness, that there is only one rational opinion in the abortion debate and that poverty is the root cause of terrorism?

UPDATE: Bumped up to include new headlines ~~plus a link to the offender’s home pages (click the by-line)~~ (oops, still a bug or two to work out).

Bite me Associated Press, you got nuthin’!

You Need A Big Oven!

Preston Taylor Holmes — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 16:46:01 +0000

Members of the Religion of Peace™ and their sycophants on the left gathered in Ft. Lauderdale to peacefully express their position that Israel should be nuked and that supporters of Israel need to be pushed back into the ovens. Oh yeah, and once they’re dead, they need to go to hell. I can see why American leftists would get behind these folks. Their passion is contagious.

Animals.

h/t Sweetness and Light

Cult of Snuggie

Preston Taylor Holmes — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 18:10:15 +0000

Am I the only one who recognizes the danger of the Cult of Snuggie?

Look at the strange rituals these cultists engage in:

Even more frighteningly, did you know who was wearing the first Snuggies when they boarded Hale-Bopp™ and shot Heavenward? That’s right…

URGENT UPDATE:

Via MoxIE, we are introduced to the Slap Chop. “You’re going to love my nuts.”

You have 20 minutes to order from the time that you view this video.